“Why You HAVE To Pay” (… or you’ll keep paying and paying and paying!)

Posted on Oct. 08, 2009 by Baeth in General

First and foremost, when it comes to your relationship with money in the world, it needs to reflect your integrity, your value system and your code of ethics. For example, if you feel your clients should honor their agreements with you and show up on time and pay on time, you MUST do the same in your agreements or else you are ‘out’ of integrity energetically. You may have the occasional client who flakes out and doesn’t pay but generally speaking, you’ll probably find that your clients gladly pay - when YOU gladly pay. This exchange of payment keeps the energy (and the money) flowing.

If you find yourself as the coach who isn’t being paid, what is the message for you? When this situation has happened to me, I’ve found that it usually means I have to overcome my Life Lesson of wanting people to like me and instead, hold the client to the contract. It is uncomfortable but necessary so I can live with myself and not feel like a chump. At other times, it simply alerts me that I’m not doing work that is totally aligned with my Life Purpose and a course correction is needed.

Maybe for you, clients aren’t paying because you have not paid someone. Or perhaps, you never had a written contract in the first place? Where in your money agreements have you become lax, inattentive or simply fearful?

If you are the person unwilling to honor an agreement you made, how do you rationalize this to yourself? Money is tight? You can’t afford it? You can get out of things easily? I find that folks who get in this situation over and over are unrealistic about their current financial situation and somehow think taking on another commitment will reduce, rather than increase, the pressure they are feeling to pay up. They may even feel that paying money to someone will bring them riches as if by osmosis. It is a subtle but common form of sabotage that hurts both parties.

If you have made a commitment and feel a pressure to make the payments, it is probably unwise to take on MORE commitments until that commitment is fulfilled. Your interactions with money reveal your true intentions and how seriously you take your commitments. Honestly, it’s best to make them as if your life depended upon it - because your reputation certainly does. With every broken financial agreement, you damage your reputation, burn a bridge and reveal your true motivations. With every honored agreement, you increase your stature, deepen the connection and reveal your integrity.

If you do hit a financial snag and are HONEST about it, your integrity stays intact and the contract can be renegotiated.

The next important piece about why you must pay (so you don’t “pay and pay” in suffering) is that it actually puts money in your bank account. When you pay for a service and fully enjoy that service, you put out a positive vibration into the world. Maybe a friend commented on your great new haircut. You told them the name of your stylist and they made an appointment for themselves. It turns out that they, too, had a great experience with this stylist and tell all their friends about it.

Now here is where it gets interesting. Your stylist may start referring people to you! And your friends know they can trust your word so they take in interest in supporting you as well. I’ve found that abundance is very much about giving from a place of knowing that there is enough to go around.

Putting money in the bank is also increased by your determination to succeed, your persistence in the face of setbacks and your ability to deliver on what you promise. This is another form of commitment. If you can give someone a great result, they will gladly invest and tell their friends about your work.

However, please don’t give it away for ‘free.’ If you are new in your field, bartering can be a wonderful way to get your work out there (initially) and give you additional experience. If you are seasoned, be sure that your prices reflect the results your clients receive - which is NOT the same as what you think they will pay or what you think they think it’s worth. How do people lose out if you DON’T deliver your service? Think about that when setting your fees.

The best way to PAY is to PAY attention. Mind your store, balance the books and protect your intellectual property. A good intellectual property (IP) attorney can trademark your important branding language and help you patent new inventions. If you know where your money is coming from and where it is going on a DAILY basis with a profit and loss statement, you are in a powerful position to see what projects are winners and which are losers on the balance sheet. This will help you leverage your time toward those projects that bring you the most revenue and satisfaction.

As a side note, I notice some folks start living champagne lifestyles on beer budgets. Sorry, but the math simply does not work. If you cannot pay for your lifestyle with ease, it is an illusion that will catch up with you eventually. There is no one to impress but yourself. Honoring your commitments and living within your means is a sure route to prosperity. Spending money doesn’t make you rich - generating money through your efforts does. There is a BIG difference. Remember this. Touching the hem of the guru’s skirt won’t make you the guru. Doing the inner work makes you the guru. Being around successful people won’t make you successful but acting as successful people act WILL bring you riches. Successful people don’t spend money they don’t have on things they don’t need. Successful people invest: in real estate, stocks, bonds, precious gems and metals, art AND education. Are you a spender or an investor?

Most importantly, PAY yourself first (so you don’t pay in terms of financial struggle) then pay Uncle Sam, then pay everyone else, in that order. But pay you must, no matter what. I believe that even if a person chooses to ‘go for broke,’ every creditor needs to be paid back in full - even if it takes years - because this is about integrity. Without integrity, you end up selling your soul - and THAT is too high a price to pay. As I tell my clients, “You don’t have to show up, but you still have to pay energetically.” So you may as well show up because there is no ‘out’ even if you walk away. The contract lingers in the air until it is mutually negotiated to the satisfaction of both parties.

When you pay others, you get paid. Simple as that. When you pay the piper, you get to hear the sweet music. When you pay yourself, you feel the power of your own value. And when you pay attention to your true motivations, you discover the wealth of your own soul.