By Baeth Davis, Your Purpose Mentor

Ever have one of those epiphanies that captures your heart and mind for a very long moment?

Recently, at a networking mixer, I was sharing with a friend about my dismay with people seeking short cuts. I couldn’t understand what they thought could possibly come of that. As we dug deeper, we realized that the core issue had to do with low self-esteem. And this low self-esteem manifests as some gnarly issues. These particular issues not only mess up your financial life, but your capacity to fully live your Life Purpose.

Let’s look at these 3 wealth saboteurs and how you might ‘map’ your way of them toward financial health.

Money Saboteur #1: Addiction

By definition, if you’re addicted, you’re seeking a quick fix. You may have a low tolerance for emotional pain, confusion or ambiguity. You seek the easy way out through alcohol, sugar, television, sex, drugs, work… pick your poison.

I disagree that addiction is an ‘illness.’ It may lead to an illness, but having had extensive personal experience with addiction in my family history, I can tell you it’s a person’s choice to simply not deal with life.

The compassionate piece in this is that an addict doesn’t believe in themselves or their worth, so they feel helpless to improve their conditions. This leads to a desire for escape, in some cases total annihilation.

De facto, if you are addicted, your Life Purpose is out of reach.

Money Saboteur #2: Blame

Instant evidence of low self-worth: “Well, it’s easy for you – you came from a rich family.” “Oh, it’s easy for you – you went to an Ivy League college.” “Oh, it’s easy for you because you are smarter, richer, faster, luckier.” “Oh, he was lucky.”

The minute you hear these sad sack stories combined with the mention of ‘luck,’ you know your listening to a victim seeking someone to blame for their struggles. Why?

If you have low self-esteem, you don’t feel you can overcome your struggles. And there must be some reason, right? The world is against you and it’s not your fault. How tiring for the victim in the blame cycle.

I suggest you drop ALL blame and criticism forever and watch your life turn around. I have never, ever met a wealthy ‘victim’ who actually made their money through their own efforts. Sure, I’ve met wealthy victims who inherited money, but never the person who created it through their own efforts.

And blame insults the person who is successful, whether they’ve had lots of support or struggled mightily for it. We never ever know another person’s path. We can only take responsibility for our own.

Money Saboteur #3: Dismissive of Things You Don’t Understand

I offered an interesting business idea to the host of the networking mixer. She instantly caught what I was suggesting and said, “Wow, that’s a good idea. We have to talk. I’ll set up a hand reading with you after my vacation.”

Later, my self-worth researcher and myself noted how pleasant that interaction was. She then said, “If you offer that to a person with low self-esteem, they may say something like… ‘how do you know that?’ ‘prove it to me?’ ‘what if it doesn’t work?’ ‘there’s no value in that because I don’t understand what you are saying.’”

Low self-worth becomes more evident the more suspicious, untrusting, and devaluing the person is toward others and the ideas of others.

Now, on the bright side, I bet some of this resonates with you. I’ve suffered all three of these saboteurs either as the giver or receiver – which is basically the same thing.

How to get out of it?

I want to suggest that self-worth is created through effort expended toward an aim that makes you genuinely happy and satisfied.

At our upcoming event, “Gifted,” we are going to create “money maps” to help you use your GIFTS and monetize them. What’s wonderful about this is that even when the saboteur hits – sending you for the chocolate, the blame, the devaluation… you stop before it sets in and say, “Now, wait a minute… wasn’t I working toward the manifestation of my gifts?”

Mentor’s Challenge: What ARE your top 3 gifts as you understand them today?
(At Gifted, we’ll map them all out for you!) When was the last time you used these gifts?
What is your new goal for each of these gifts? Now set a deadline for those goals… and get busy! (And if you are truly suffering from a substance addiction, please please get professional help. Your health could be at risk and you need professional support to get well. There is no shame in asking for help – that takes courage, but don’t further lower your self-worth by avoiding your pain.)

By Baeth Davis, Your Purpose Mentor

Did you read about the illegal Hollywood gambling ring that just got busted?

You’d think the rich and famous would know better, but this issue isn’t about intelligence or common sense. It’s about our addiction to financial agony.

What’s your financial agony?

Bounced checks, unpaid bills, money due, money owed, money you resent, money you aspire to, money you feel others have that you don’t, too much money you think you don’t deserve, lotto winnings, lotto losses, business wins, business failures, marriage collapses, jobs lost, the IRS, deaths endured…

No matter what we do, money touches every part of our lives. You’ve heard that money is energy. Simply put, everything in the universe is energy moving at different frequencies.

But we often act as if money is an energy that we ‘get’ from outside of us, rather than something we are. Our relationship to money perfectly reflects our relationship to ourselves and to the world around us. As Esther Hicks says, “Every time, no exceptions.”

That’s infuriating, right? Especially on those days when you’re sure it’s not your fault, when you’re sure it’s ‘their’ fault, when you are sure you did everything right.

I can relate. I’ve lost big sums of money when I was sure it was the best choice, the most generous choice, the logical choice. I’ve also made money with ease and joy. And I think I’ve actually figured out what creates the difference between financial agony and financial ease. I’ll do my best to share this epiphany with you in 3 simple steps.

Step #1 Get Real With Your Self

This isn’t about what the legal system says is fair, or what you feel emotionally, or even what’s the win/win. This is about what’s in the best interest of your HIGHEST self. Your highest self isn’t interested in winning, being right, playing a victim, or being angry. Your highest self wants you to walk the path that leads you to your highest potential, the self-realization of your life purpose.

Sometimes your highest self may be required to do the following:

1. Walk away from the loss. It’s not worth it. Just walk away and let it go. You have more important goals to work towards.
2. Defend what’s yours. You’ve been acting like a doormat and enough is enough.
3. Pay up and move on. Those lingering debts are designed to keep you stuck and frustrated.
4. Stop hanging out with other addicts – at the bar, the casino, the pity party.
5. Get a job – or three – so that you have the money you need. For most individuals in Western society, we have such a sense of entitlement that the energy used to fight ‘the system’ could be used in so many other positive ways.
6. Don’t declare bankruptcy. Confess your situation to a few people who are successful financially and see what your options are. (Most bankruptcies I see could be avoided if the person wasn’t crippled with shame and simply asked for guidance and help.)
7. Declare bankruptcy but make a deal with yourself to pay back every penny you owe. The legal system may say your debts are clear, but are they? Only you know. If you do this as a habit, you have an addiction. Then again, you may have been drained by the legal system or medical system to such a point that you truly have no other option. That’s what bankruptcy is designed for – unfair indebtedness… not consumer excess.

Your Purpose Mentor’s Challenge: What is the spiritual truth about your financial situation? By ‘spiritual truth,’ I mean the higher purpose of your current financial dilemma. You’ll know you’ve hit your truth when you feel a sense of calm and relief. A rightness will flow through your body. And you’ll also notice in many instances that if there is another party involved, they stop running interference with you.

Step #2 Create A Financial Plan

This does not need to be complicated! This is what I do:

1. Set my yearly income goal
2. Set my monthly income goal (yearly goal divided by 12)
3. Set my weekly income goal (monthly goal divided by 4)
4. Set my daily income goal (weekly goal divided by 5 work days)
5. Create a plan of what you will give in return for the money. This is your map of your products and services. You need to figure out what to charge and what to deliver so that you can do your work well, make a profit and not exhaust yourself in the process. NOTE for ease and joy: ONLY create products, programs and services that you will love delivering. If you need a job to supplement things, manifest a job that best supports your goals.

Your Purpose Mentor’s Challenge: Get out pencil and paper to track your results. Keep this tracking page by your desk and track your daily income to be sure you are hitting your marks.

Step # 3 Figure Out What You Owe and Make A Plan to Pay It Off

If you are honest about your financial reality and you’ve made a plan to create more income, you will have the resources to pay off your debts. I recommend making a list of everything you owe. Determine how much money you can put aside each month toward debt, then put the biggest chunk toward your highest interest credit card or other debt. Put the rest of your repayment funds toward the minimums on the other debts. The next highest interest rate debt moves to the top of the list as each debt is paid off.

The ultimate insight I’ve had about money is that it likes when you pay attention to it consciously but without emotion or drama. Simply look at what is, look at how you would like it to be, and begin working in that direction. Your ease will come from dropping the story and just getting busy!

Money issues trigger our survival fears but we can’t be creative and proactive when we are in fear. Get yourself conscious and organized about your money and you will find that peace of mind becomes yours more and more frequently.

If you have a financial story of agony to triumph and you’d be willing to share it with our readers, I will share these stories over the coming months. Drop us a line atsupport@YourPurpose.com to share your story. Thank you!

By Baeth Davis, Your Purpose Mentor

Zainab Salbi, founder and CEO of www.womenforwomen.org, was our recent guest speaker at the NYC meeting of our “Claim Your Spotlight Training Program.” Salbi shared how hersimple idea generated a worldwide organization with over 750 employees, 10 international offices, a voice at the UN and 10 appearances on the Oprah Winfrey Show. This same organization, “Women for Women International,” has helped nearly 300,000 women and 1.6 million families in war-torn nations find healing and economic stability. This month celebrates 18 years since Salbi and her co-founder put this simple idea into action after a late-night discussion at a Denny’s Restaurant in New York City.

Salbi spoke at our meeting about what it takes to be a successful philanthropist and entrepreneur. She shared three keys to her success that you can begin to apply immediately to your own personal and professional life.

Key #1: Keep It Simple and Clear

The one simple idea that created Women for Women International was this: one woman with a few extra dollars would sponsor another woman in a war-torn country for $30/month for one year. They would exchange pictures and letters. At the end of the year, the sponsored woman would have completed communication, health, financial and job training, leading to job placement. (If you would like to become a monthly sponsor with Women for Women International, go here now to join: http://bit.ly/30aMonthforFreedom)

Salbi once secured $15 million from Mayor Bloomberg, one of the world’s brightest business minds. Before she landed the largest donation in charity history for a women’s organization, Salbi had to present to the two men who would sign the check. She made an elaborate presentation and the guys said, “Zainab, what is this? Let us tell you our key to business success: SIMPLE and CLEAR. Go back to your roots and tell us the story.” Salbi shared her Denny’s story and the donation was secured!

Salbi’s simple idea – one woman sponsoring another with a monthly $30 donation and open correspondence – founded her organization and is still the same idea that sustains her organization today.

Mentor’s Challenge: What is the ONE SIMPLE IDEA of your business?

Here at the YourPurpose.com commmunity, our simple idea is this: “We help spirited entrepreneurs find their Life Purposes and then we train them to help others find theirs.” It’s a pay-it-forward model. Our goal is to help 1 million people know and live their purpose worldwide in the next two to five years.

Key #2: Passion

A member of the Spotlight Program asked Salbi,“What do you think is the #1 Key to your success?” Salbi replied, “Passion. If you have passion, everything becomes possible. Without passion, don’t bother.” The group nodded and chuckled because the day previous, I asked them, “What is the most important aspect of your talk?” They came up with all sorts of answers – an irresistible offer, a good structure, good testimonials. While all of those things are important, I said,“Passion. Passion trumps everything. If YOU believe, we will believe.”

Mentor’s Challenge: Where is your TRUE PASSION? Is your business and life built on passion? Or not?

At YourPurpose.com, our internal brand promise is to “inspire flames of passion”in our customers, clients, vendors, team members and sponsors worldwide. We know that if you feel it, you will make it happen. Passion’s inevitable outcome is success.

Key #3: Trust Your Intuition Above All

Because of the rapid growth of her organization, Salbi is now replacing herself with a CEO who is skilled at structure, organization and leveraging of assets. As Salbi shared, her gifts are inspirational in nature, spreading the message of women helping women worldwide. She is not a bean counter or a spreadsheet gal. To paraphrase Salbi, “I finally realized that it doesn’t matter how someone comes to the same conclusion. If they need two months to prove it statistically what I know intuitively, they can have their two months. The structure people need to learn things in their way and I respect that. What I will say is this, if you always trust your inner guidance above all else, you will be fine.”

Mentor’s Challenge: Do you trust your inner guidance or constantly look outside yourself for proof?

At YourPurpose.com, we strive to do what’s in the best interest of the business and our clients. Many times, this means making hard decisions. These decisions, while not necessarily popular, allow us to continue our mission. If we give into the pressure to be popular, liked or status quo, we are quickly selling our soul for short-term gain and long-term pain.

Become a Women for Women Sponsor by going here.

Zainab Salbi, Founder, Women for Women International

Zainab Salbi is Founder of Women for Women International, a grassroots humanitarian and development organization helping women survivors of wars rebuild their lives. Since 1993, the organization has helped 299,000 women survivors of wars access social and economic opportunities through a program of rights awareness training, vocational skills education and access to income generating opportunities, thereby ultimately contributing to the political and economic health of their communities. In its 18-year history, the organization has distributed more than $95 million in direct aid, micro credit loans, and has impacted more than 1.6 million family members. For its work “alleviating human suffering”, Women for Women International was awarded the 2006 Conrad N. Hilton Humanitarian Prize, becoming the first women’s organization to receive this honor.

Zainab Salbi is the author of two books; a national bestseller “Between Two Worlds: Escape from Tyranny: Growing Up in the Shadow of Saddam” (with Laurie Becklund) that documents her life under Saddam Hussein’s rule and “The Other Side of War: Women’s Stories of Survival and Hope.” Her work has been featured in major media outlets, including 8 appearances on “The Oprah Winfrey Show”, CNN, The Washington Post, and The New York Times.

Zainab Salbi has been honored by Former President Bill Clinton for her work in Bosnia and Herzegovina in 1993 and was most recently nominated by Former President Clinton as one of the Harper’s Bazaar 21st Century Heroines to honor her actions, faith and determination in making a difference. She is the recipient of the 2010 David Rockefeller Bridging Leadership Award and was named one of 22 members of the Clinton Global Initiative Lead program, which brings together a select group of accomplished young leaders to develop innovative solutions to some of the world’s most pressing challenges, among many others. Additionally, in 2011 Zainab Salbi was named one of the Top 100 Women: Activists and Campaigners by The Guardian and was highlighted as a Female Faith Heroine by the Tony Blair Faith Foundation. Zainab Salbi is a World Economic Forum Young Global Leader and is a member of the UN Secretary General’s Civil Society Advisory Group focusing on the UN Security Council Resolution 1325. Zainab Salbi has a master’s degree from the London School of Economics and Political Science and a bachelor’s degree from George Mason University.

Photo by Rennio Maifredi