Today’s article is the third installment in my Life Lessons REVEALED series.

We’re going to look at the MOTHER of all Life Lessons: Self-Worth! I would argue that this lesson is the lesson of humanity. Low self-worth is the root of nearly every sad, disrespectful thing one human being does to another or to themselves. High self-worth is the root of great innovations, honorable relationships and profound achievements.

As a technical reminder, the Life Lesson is determined from the Life Purpose Blueprint in your fingerprints. If your Life Lesson is self-worth issues, it is indicated by the fingerprint on your right middle finger.

Your middle finger, that one you might reveal to show disrespect and lack of value, represents the spine of your hand, its midpoint of strength, balance and harmony. In an ideal world, you stand in your own worth and contribute to the value of others. You are confident and inspire confidence in others.

OUTER Worth is measured by three values: money, time and energy.

INNER Worth is measured by your integrity, honor, intangible values (creativity, love, connection, etc.) and commitments.

The way we discover what it means to experience and enjoy high self-worth carries with it some specific tests.

The STUDENT path of self-worth includes the following tests which challenge your ability to value yourself and others:

• Breaking agreements and contracts: The reason for agreements and contracts is so that both parties know what they are agreeing to and can refer back to it later if any discrepancies arise. Certainly, these agreements can be re-negotiated, but that requires having sufficient self-worth to communicate that you’re not satisfied with the agreement as it stands – BEFORE you decide to break it!

  If you have low self-worth, chances are that you may avoid intimate discussions about contracts and will try to wriggle out of them using methods that only lower your self-worth further.

  For example, in my nine years as a coach, I’ve been fortunate to experience only a few instances of contract violations. However, when it does happen, it is painful to me personally for I have invested great time, energy and care into helping that client reach their goals. When they quit mid-way through or, worse, blame me for their inability to take action on their goals (or read their minds and meet their unspoken needs), it feels like a punch in the gut.

  Worse, I know the energetic debt the person is creating for themselves. I will tell you – in nearly EVERY instance – the money, time or energy you think you’ll save by BREAKING a contract will cost you about twice as much in money, time and energy moving forward. When someone breaks a contract with me and someone else asks me, “Would you work with this person?” my answer is simply, “No, and I suggest you don’t either. They can’t honor their agreements.” You’re better off paying up, owning up and moving on with a clean conscience than bailing out. Trust me on this. If you don’t, you’ll get to experience the fall out for yourself – or you already have. Was it “worth it?” I doubt it.

  Oh, a few hints about folks who do break contracts. They tend to engage in this behavior habitually. They will probably lament about a previous coach who ‘let them down’ by failing to stroke their ego or tell you about other programs they dropped out of or didn’t like. Quitters are the most proficient critics. Beware clients who nitpick and are always finding fault. It indicates their own negative self-judgment and poor self-esteem. I suggest if a potential client begins dropping these hints, do not work with them in ANY capacity. Move on and keep your own integrity intact.

  They also seem to think they are ‘special’ or the rules don’t apply to them. To add the cherry on top of this steaming pile of specialness, they will use their ‘special’ (re: victim) status to leverage you for a ‘special’ rate, a ‘special’ payment plan, a ‘special’ program, or try to get you to work for ‘free.’ Yuck. And if YOU ‘agree’ to this, you will lower your self-esteem in the process.

  In fact, in some of my coaching relationships (especially when the client’s Life Lesson is ‘self-worth’), the client’s ability to honor the contract is so challenging, THAT ‘honoring the contract’ IS THE COACHING! If they can succeed in just getting through to the end without blaming, complaining, creating drama, failing to pay or quitting, they will notice quantum leaps in other areas of their lives.

• Money issues: I realize I could write a book about this topic and barely scratch the surface! In a nutshell, money is an external measure of value. How we use our money reflects what we value.However, the amount of money you possess is NOT a measure of your internal value.Money reflects how effectively you are giving value in the world. You may have a great product, program or service, but if you’re not offering it and selling it to others, its value is not seen and felt by others.

  The ability to create money is the ability to create and then offer value to others. If you have trouble being paid what you’re worth or asking to be paid at all, you need to look at your own self-doubts and insecurities. Then ask yourself, “How will this prospective client lose out if they don’t work with me? What value and transformation can I bring to their lives?”

  I know that if someone works with me, their life will be transformed immensely. However, the path to transformation can bring up uncomfortable feelings, thoughts and memories. It can cause a person to want to retreat in fear or bail out.When you’ve “got confidence,” you honor your agreements, invest your money where your mouth/agreement is, and proceed through the discomfort without quitting.

  Ironically, this is the ONLY way to GROW your confidence. You can only GET CONFIDENCE by COMMITTING – to YOUR SELF and mirroring this commitment in your relationships with others.

• Doubt, worry and in-security: These are the Medusa-headed step-children of low self-worth. You make a decision and then second-guess it. You worry about your kids, your finances, your future. You want security but feel it comes from outside of yourself: your clothes, your looks, your finances, the esteem of others.

  Security can ONLY come from ONE place: INSIDE of you. Having FAITH in a benevolent Universe also helps. Everything in the material world is temporal and fleeting. Where does your real security reside? If you KNOW you are here on Earth for a specific Life Purpose, are you willing to put your FAITH and SECURITY in that? If not, why not?

The MASTER path of self-worth includes the following behaviors – which amplify feelings of high self-worth and esteem toward others:

• Commitment: To commit is “to do.” When you commit, you make a promise, a pledge, a vow, an assurance to YOUR Self to follow through on something. For example, I got married because I knew it would help me with commitment in other areas of my life. My husband had been married before and didn’t feel the need to get married again. He agreed to it because he knew it would help me. He said later, “I had no idea how much our marriage commitment would deepen our connection. I’m glad for both of us.”

• Integrity: Integrity is not a static state. You walk the integrity tight rope and fall off. You get back up on the rope and try again. All of us make mistakes. What keeps us in integrity is to speak our truth, apologize when we’ve messed up and keeping moving forward with our commitments. Integrity is the ongoing work of matching your insides with your outsides. Does your appearance, your lifestyle, your fitness level match how you feel on the inside? If you feel resentment toward someone, but don’t tell them immediately and clear things up, you begin to lose integrity with yourself, then with the other person. Can you make your inner emotional state congruent with your outer relationships?
  

• Valuing Your Work and Your Finances: When you value your work, it’s amazing how other people begin to value your work. When you think of your work as a service to others, the value increases further. Managing your money is also vital to your sense of self-worth and security. Looking at your numbers on a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis keeps you in touch with how well you are offering value to others and if you are offering the BEST value you have to offer. When I’ve offered programs that weren’t big hits, I knew that either I didn’t present the value well initially or it wasn’t the value my clients needed or wanted. By looking at WHAT IS WORKING in my business, I can do more of that, deepen the quality, and offer MORE value.

• Implementing Good Systems: The Universe is a system! Your body is a system! Your business and your life run better with systems. Systems increase efficiency, reduce waste and clutter, and allow you to LEVERAGE your outer values of money, time and energy. The ability to leverage your money, time and energy allows you to commit more deeply and fully to your Life Purpose. If you don’t have efficient systems, find a systems expert to help you implement them.

• Time Management: Like money and energy, time is an outer measure of worth. When you show up on time, you VALUE your time and the other person’s. When you use your time wisely, you are valuing your life force. Time is the ONE resource we can never, ever reclaim. When it’s gone, it’s gone.Is your time being ‘spent’ on what you value or are you spending it on trivial, meaningless activities that neither leverage your money or energy nor deepen your commitment to your Life Purpose? The choice is yours. Are you making the strengthening decision with your use of time? Or the weakening decision? You ALWAYS have that choice in EVERY situation.

• Energy Management: Valuing yourself includes valuing your precious life force, your energy. This requires engaging in excellent self-care: sufficient rest, relaxation and movement. Do you sleep enough each night? Eat right? Drink sufficient water? You know the basics with self-care. DOING the basics, however, committing to it, that is your BEST feedback for whether or not you have high self-worth. If you overeat, skip sleep, engage in addictive behaviors, hide your truth or any other of the various methods of self-deception, you are showing yourself that you don’t matter very much. How much do YOU VALUE YOU???

Above all else, remember that high self-worth is the result of doing things that strengthen you and low self-worth is the result of doing things that weaken you. ONLY YOU can truly know and decide what things you wish to spend your money, time and energy on. ONLY YOU. Who else would know?

Coach’s Challenge: Take a quick assessment of your money, time and energy expenditures. Are they reflective of what you MOST VALUE or could you re-allocate your resources toward those people and activities you value and that give you value in return?

If YOU are curious and want to know what your Life Purpose Blueprint says about your Life Lesson, your SPECIFIC Life Purpose and a whole lot more, GO HERE NOW and Claim “YOUR Purpose” session BEFORE the price goes up!

Baeth reading in the camper, rain on the rooftop.  Unconditionally loving her alone time

I promised to continue delivering you information about your Life Lessons. Today, we’re going to look at one of the most popular ones: Emotional Authenticity.

Remember that EVERY Life Lesson has lessons for all of us.

The Life Lesson is determined from the Life Purpose Blueprint in your fingerprints.

Emotional authenticity is the ability to express what you feel appropriately, fully and in the emotional moment. The reward for emotional mastery is self-acceptance, the foundation for unconditional love of yourself and others. One of the markers of a person with high self-esteem is the ability to like one’s self and accept one’s emotions.

The STUDENT path of emotional authenticity includes the following behaviors – which don’t work, by the way, in creating self-acceptance:

• Stuffing your feelings

• Denying your feelings (This is a tough one, since you probably don’t even know your denying anything. Hence, denial.)

• Rationalizing, justifying and explaining your feelings – in other words, ‘analysis paralysis’ and thinking, thinking, thinking about feelings, feelings, feelings.

• Blaming your feelings on yourself or others. (Blame is VERY popular when we have feelings that are uncomfortable or unfamiliar. We want to ‘off load’ the discomfort onto something, either our own failings or the perceived failings of someone else.)

• Martyrdom, aka Co-Dependence. Classic “woe is me” stance. “Look at all I did for you and all I get is this crummy tee shirt???” Feeling like the beleaguered savior of the world comes from the inability to express and fulfill your own needs. Hint: NO ONE is responsible for fulfilling your needs, except your mama when you were a kid. No, smoke signals don’t count as communicating your needs.

• Gossip, backstabbing, and sabotage. This is the classic approach of clusters of emotionally challenged individuals who cannot speak their own feelings to the person that needs to hear them. A good deal of gossip is actually healthy – passing along information, gaining support from a confidante around an issue that is troubling you, laughing at the latest antics of the office comedian. But the story you tell to 10 different people to slay someone’s reputation, um, what are you afraid to say TO that person? Say it. That is emotional authenticity. And it takes COURAGE.

The MASTER path of emotional authenticity includes the following behaviors – which do work, by the way, in creating self-acceptance:

• Identifying WHAT you are feeling in the moment. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now?”

• The ability to discern the difference between bodily sensations, heart-based emotions and intuitive hits. For example, your stomach grumbling could indicate you are hungry or have indigestion. It is beneficial to attend to your body’s needs. A heart-based emotion could be crying caused by the grief of losing a beloved pet. An intuitive hit could be knowing that you really MUST join that new coaching program, BECAUSE it is going to stretch you. You may feel scared shitless to act on the intuitive hit, but you trust your intuition over your fear. Now we’re talking high level emotional mastery here!

• Expressing what you are feeling in the moment – to the appropriate person at the appropriate intensity. Granted, this takes practice and lots of embarrassing moments of being too timid or too blustery. Good news? You can keep attempting emotional expression until you hit “just right.”

• Transmuting the emotion into self-acceptance When you feel calm inside, you know you have gotten the emotion out of your system. You have accepted your feelings. One way of working with this concept is to simply ALLOW your feelings to move through you. Don’t try and fix them, explain them away or tell a big long story about your horrible childhood (save that for your therapist). Just FEEL it. If you are sad, crying it out. If you are angry, write it down or take it to a punching bag. If you are joyful, find a way to celebrate.

• Identifying negative self-talk and asking yourself, “What is the feeling BENEATH this self-judgment?” Judgment ALWAYS masks your true emotions. For example, when we judge others, it is because they trigger feelings in us that are uncomfortable, such as envy, jealousy, anger, vengeance, passion, attraction, or fear.

• Recognizing that discernment is not the same as judgment. You may run across someone that you really don’t enjoy being around. You can still love them unconditionally without choosing to spend your free time with them. Discernment doesn’t have an emotional charge to it – it is a CHOICE, rather than a compulsion. Judgment comes from the compulsive need to deny your own feelings, needs and insecurities. The more you express your true feelings, the more you love yourself, and paradoxically, the less you judge others. You find compassion for their struggles, knowing that they are as challenged as you in growing into their true spirit and purpose.

• Practice forgiveness. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you are denying any wrong doing. Forgiveness is saying, “I allow you your humanity. You will experience the consequences of your choices on your own path. I attend to my own path and allow you yours.”

Coach’s Challenge: On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest and 1 being the lowest, rate your current state of emotional authenticity. You may want to print out this article and rate each bullet point on a scale of 1 to 10 for additional insight. I recommend making a list of every person you have unresolved feelings with and doing something today to make it right, such as forgiving yourself for your mistakes or forgiving them for hurting you. Sometimes it helps to write a letter, even if you don’t send it. The main thing is this: Get clear with YOURSELF about what YOU FEEL. That is the first step to emotional clarity and emotional freedom. Now that is something to LOVE!

If YOU are curious and want to know what your Life Purpose Blueprint says about your Life Lesson and a whole lot more, GO HERE NOW and Claim “YOUR Purpose” session BEFORE the price goes up!

]]> http://blog.baethdavis.com/%e2%80%9canother-life-lesson-revealed-emotional-authenticity%e2%80%9d/feed/ http://blog.baethdavis.com/life-lesson-exposed-trust-surrender/ http://blog.baethdavis.com/life-lesson-exposed-trust-surrender/#comments Fri, 05 Feb 2010 10:43:22 +0000 Baeth http://blog.baethdavis.com/?p=529
You asked and I listened. I polled you on the #1 Thing that’s been holding you back from achieving your true calling and the answer is consistently: “Baeth, that’s easy! My LIFE LESSON!”

As there is so much fascination and fear about Life Lessons, I’m introducing a brand new article series on the various Life Lessons you may possess and how to harness their incredible, life-changing power for your own good. Whether you have a particular Life Lesson or not, chances are high you will relate to the opportunities and challenges the lesson presents.

The Life Lesson is determined from the Life Purpose Blueprint in your fingerprints.

In this article, we’ll explore a popular Life Lesson: “trust, surrender and intimacy issues.” It is a lesson that is often misunderstood but with great opportunities for self-discovery by its owner.

If you have trust, surrender and intimacy issues as your Life Lesson, you may experience a deep and personal connection to God, to the divine. You may feel that God, angels and spirits communicate directly to you, giving you guidance on many matters in your life. You may also find that a strong energy moves through your body from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. You may be aware of a connection to something much larger than yourself, perhaps a connection to infinite intelligence, eternity or infinity.

You may mistrust yourself sometimes, wondering, “Am I really experiencing this?” or “Why is God telling ME all this? Can’t He tell someone else? I don’t want to know this much!” The opportunity here is to realize that you are specially designed to receive these messages and use them for your own self-development. It is important to not brag about these messages nor be silent about them either. Use them for yourself first. Through trial and error, you’ll begin to discover which messages to share and which ones to keep to yourself.

You are here to learn how to trust your inner wisdom, surrender to the guidance you receive and develop your own relationship with your authentic self. As you come to know yourself, others can come to know you. If you do not take these steps, you may find that you too easily trust others or don’t trust anyone at all. You may also be a person that others find they can’t trust, because you waffle in your decisions, certain one moment and doubting your guidance the next.

A short cut to progressing in this Life Lesson is to be EXPLICIT in sharing your inner process to the APPROPRIATE PEOPLE. Sharing your inner world with a therapist, a coach, a lover or a close friend can help you find your spiritual truth and trust it. This is authentic ’surrender’ and it takes great courage.

If you refuse to trust your inner guidance, renege on your most important decisions, fail to communicate effectively or demand that others communicate with you in a specific, overly detailed manner, you may find yourself experiencing isolation, loneliness and creative stagnation.

Here are some examples of common scenarios I’ve observed with the trust, surrender and intimacy issues Life Lesson:

·        Francesca, an executive head hunter, sends me an email. I don’t receive the email or it goes into my spam folder. She assumes I am ignoring her and doesn’t ask if I received her email. IF I ever hear from her again (usually by persistently tracking her down to find out why she isn’t taking my calls), I’m told that my communication abilities are flawed and disorganized on top of my being insensitive, thoughtless and rude. That’s the “specific, overly detailed” communication style I mentioned earlier. At this point, my attempts to explain I never saw the email fall on deaf ears. Francesca no longer trusts me, although the story of her rejection happened entirely in her own mind.

REMEMBER: Logic will be USELESS when you are in the GRIP of your Life Lesson or someone you know is in the grip of theirs. Some people go their whole life believing a story about an event that is based in nothing but illusion (the shadow side of authentic communication).

·        Joey, an inventor, visualizes a successful outcome with a creative project that he’s been imagining for years. Instead of taking action on the vision, he second-guesses his instincts and procrastinates. Time passes. Then, Joey comes across the project as envisioned and COMPLETED by someone else. Ooops. Bummer. Especially since it’s an invention that sold millions!

·        Amy, a painter, makes a powerful decision and significant financial investment to apprentice with an artist whose work she admires. After a few communication snafus (that Amy created by refusing to follow the artist’s instructions and refusing to follow up), she decides this artist is a nit-wit and wants her money back.

It doesn’t occur to Amy that she knew this was a great decision when she made it - because this more-experienced artist would hold her accountable when her Life Lesson reared its head. As much as Amy truly wants to be SEEN and known for who she really is - she will back away as the intimacy increases with her mentor. This sabotage plunges Amy into feelings of isolation and creative constipation.

Instead of reaching out to clear up the communication breakdown, she cuts off all contact and retreats back into the world she knows, rather than trusting her initial decision and surrendering to the unfolding process. Her own painting, curiously, grinds to a halt.

If you have this lesson, remember this: if you call someone, give them a few days to call you back. If they don’t, call again. Then LET GO. Assume the best - the person is away in Fiji for the month and will call you when they get back. If a month or two passes with no word, try again by writing a letter. Then let it go. Surrender.

If your best attempts at communicating YOUR inner truth are not received, you can then trust there is no intimacy happening. As they says, “He or she just isn’t that into you.” But until then, TRUST and give the other person the benefit of the doubt.  Because your trust meter needs adjusting with this Life Lesson, it’s important to let others SHOW YOU who they are - and give them the chance to do so - before writing them off. Also, if you are harboring resentment toward something you feel they ‘did to you,’ there is really only ONE QUESTION: did you explicitly communicate your inner experience in the moment, or not?

Most importantly, when you feel disconnected, isolated or mistrusting, remember YOUR SOURCE and connect back with God and infinite intelligence. That will always bring you back to the truth. You may remember that everyone is made of Divine substance and thus, everyone is doing their best, even if you wish you could control the process and timing with which life moves.

Let go. Listen. Surrender. LOVE.

If YOU are curious and want to know what your Life Purpose Blueprint says about your Life Lesson and a whole lot more, GO HERE NOW and Claim “YOUR Purpose” session:

http://www.handanalyst.com/pages/i_want_my_hands_read.html#order-session

#1 Your Throat Is Missing!

In the hand print image above, the lower zone of the thumb where it attaches to the palm is ‘missing.’ In reality, the individual’s thumb is intact, but the ink didn’t take. Hand prints don’t lie. They give a read out of what you are experiencing at any given point in time.

The bottom zone of the thumb represents the fifth chakra, or the throat chakra. This chakra is your doorway to manifestation. Once your connect with the dream in your heart (fourth chakra), it is essential you speak up and communicate this dream in the world.

When you don’t speak your true desires, the desires may become cloudy, confusing or lost. Physically, you may experience vocal chord issues, a sore throat, laryngitis, canker sores, or other throat ailments. It is not uncommon for someone to lose their voice right before an important singing recital or public speech.

Your word is the first step to creation in the material world. By drawing, collaging, writing, speaking and singing your dreams, you are asking the Universe for what you want.

And the Universe is ALWAYS answering…

The question is, “Are you receiving?”

Which leads me to Communication Key #2.

#2 You’re Worried That You Don’t Deserve It!

The next marker in the hand print is a slight curve in the upper tip of the middle finger. This is known as the ‘worry curve’ and indicates that you are worried about how your future is going to turn out.

This worry curve is an indicator of self-worth issues that manifest as doubt, second-guessing, and, of course, ‘worry.’ Low self-worth has a curious manifestation of its own: the inability to fully receive.

Imagine that you ask the Universe for what you want but then worry you won’t receive it. Either because you feel you don’t deserve it or you’ll be disappointed if it doesn’t come in the wrapping paper you expect.

Ever had a compliment rejected by someone who couldn’t just say “thank you?” Ever rejected a compliment because you couldn’t say “thank you?” If saying “thank you” for a compliment is difficult, how on earth can you receive love, generosity, support, abundance, great clients, lots of money, vibrant health?

It IS obvious, but oh so challenging to simply ASK and RECEIVE.

I invite you to practice, for one week, asking for everything you need and want – from the Universe, your friends, your spouse, your clients – and simply say “thank you” for whatever they offer you – even if it’s a “no” answer. Especially if it’s a “no” because being appreciative of everything opens you up to receiving more and more of exactly what you need and truly desire.

#3 You Want Love. You Fear Love. You Isolate. You Feel Lonely. You are NOT an Island!

The third marker on the pictured print is a bubble that appears on the heart line in the vicinity beneath the ring finger and little finger. This bubble is an island of trouble – emotional trouble. A ‘trouble bubble.’

The ring finger represents creativity and the little finger represents communication. A bubble on the heart line indicates that when you’re having trouble communicating your creativity or creatively communicating your emotional truth, you’re apt to feel like nothing is going out and nothing is coming in. You are stranded on an island of emotional pain and no one can hear you – or cares to hear you. In this wounded state, you put up your defenses, fearing criticism and rejection – particularly from your peers, and dig yourself deeper into the sand of isolation island.

The moment you realize you are alone and lonely is the moment you can change everything. The burden of communication rests with you. Are you willing to speak up and ask for what you need? Are you willing to risk criticism, rejection and ridicule to be true to your creative expression? If you’re not feeling heard, have you told the person you’re having the issue with what’s going on? If not, why not?

The thing is, if you let your feelings bottle up, that bubble will blow and it won’t be pretty. It may stay intact in your hand print, but it will splatter blood all over the people you say you love the most. They will wonder why you let the isolation and unexpressed feelings gather for so long. How could they help you in your isolation if you didn’t say a word?

The next time you don’t feel heard, ask yourself, “Have I gone to the person in question and told them directly what I’m feeling and what I need?” If not, I invite you to gather up your courage and do so. I’ve seen people do rather unpleasant things to themselves and others when they let things slide because ‘it didn’t seem like a big deal at the time.’

Believe me, anything that you say, “oh, it’s no big deal” about IS a BIG DEAL. That’s the giveaway phrase. Speak up, preferably in the moment if appropriate, and clear things up.

Most human challenges can be solved with open, honest communication. It seems obvious, but notice where you withhold important information, deny your feelings or simply decide to ‘walk away’ rather than speak up, placing the blame entirely on the other person. If you do this, not only will your relationships suffer, your creativity will become blocked. Energy is energy and energy needs to MOVE.

Clear the air and open up to the Divine spark moving through you. You will see wonders in your life when you express yourself in present time, rather than letting things bottle up.

Coach’s Challenge: Make a list of all the people in your life you have unresolved communications with. Now, ask yourself, “Have I done EVERYTHING in my power to communicate directly with this person?” If not, I invite you to call that person up and clear the air by using “I” statements and expressing YOUR needs and feelings. Remember, your feelings are about you, not the other person. Not now, not ever. You are wasting precious, precious energy holding grudges. Remember, no one knows what’s going on with you if you don’t tell them. You can hardly be mad at people for not being able to intuit your cryptic ‘signs.’

One person told me recently, “I felt I tried to tell you.” Trying to tell is NOT the same as actually speaking your specific, exact, visceral truth. And how does one “feel” that they tried? Trying is not a feeling. Don’t fool yourself or rationalize. The truth is your truth and ONLY YOU can say it. No one can figure it out for nor say it for you. As a coach, I tell my clients, “The coach is not responsible for things of which she is unaware.”

Just SAY IT! And be free.

If you really want clarity on how to best unleash and express your matchless CREAVITY and AUTHENTIC VOICE, go to www.handanalyst.com and click on “I Want My Hands Read” before the investment price goes up at the end of this month.

We only have five hand analysis sessions available this month before the investment goes up, so if you have ANY questions, please contact our business manager, Cindy Gallo, at cindy@handanalyst.com.

“3 Shocking Lessons from the Hologram”

Mari Smith, “The Pied Piper of Facebook,” and moi

When I found out the news, I didn’t know how to react.

I was in shock, disbelief, I cried, I screamed! Why? You might ask?…

I GOT INVITED TO THE GRAMMYS and to walk the red carpet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

…by a woman I cherish and admire, the inimitable Mari Smith, also known as the “Pied Piper of Facebook.” She has over 58,000 fans on Twitter and thousands of fans on Facebook. She is a wizard at Social Networking not to mention just being an all-around genuine person. Do look her up at Facebook and Twitter and get on her magical train. She will teach you a lot!

She had one extra ticket and asked me to go with her. I said, “Mari, you have like 80,000 friends, why me?” She laughed her musical laugh and said, “We’ll have fun.” (And one of our BFFs is also coming with us - yes, we’ll share pictures later.)

Then she said, on a more serious note, “I’ve seen how you support people. You are truly happy for their success, like a proud mother. It’s touching.” For those of you who know me, you know I started to cry. (I’m a crier!)

Then she said, “Hey, I really want you to read my hands!”

I gave Mari a mini hand analysis session at a live event back in 2008 and in exchange, she got me rolling on Facebook and Twitter. When we meet later this month, I’ll have the privilege of reading Mari’s mitts, live and in-person!

After the session has had time to sink in, I’ll ask Mari if she’d like to have her Life Purpose story as a feature article… I can’t make any promises, but it’d be a good one!

I bet you’re wondering what the heck this has to do with the hologram.

The speed with which the hologram reflects our personal and collective consciousness is startling/numbing, bewildering/explainable, wonderful/horrible, fast/slow, gorgeous/unsightly.

With that, I wish to share 3 Shocking Lessons from the Hologram with you!

#1 The Hologram Enjoys Synchronicities

I’ve loved rock music my whole life (and married a lead guitarist!). Curiously, I wrote the rock n’ roll update section of this newsletter over the holidays before I wrote this article. Then the invite to the Grammys from Mari arrived this week just after our team completed a development meeting on a new service that we’re creating for the music and film industries. It’s a completely new business of the three interconnected businesses we are growing this year.

When I shared this interesting intersection of my passions with recent life events with Mari, there was a silent aha between us. Then she said, “And now you’re going to the Grammys!” Woot! Woot!

As Mark often says, “What are the chances of that?… 100%!”^TM (Yes, we actually trademarked Mark’s quote!)

Coach’s Challenge: Are you noticing a lot of synchronicities, just a little or none at all? In my personal experience, if synchronicity is flowing, there is a major alignment between your Life Purpose and your willingness to receive the Universe’s answer to that purpose. If the synchronicities are long in coming or absent entirely, I’ve found it means I’m probably on the wrong track and need to redirect my decisions and actions. Also, if you are complaining, blaming, or otherwise resisting, that blocks the flow of synchronicity in your life. If you want, post a comment here and let me know your experience with synchronicities.

#2 The Hologram Isn’t Real - It’s A Mirror Image

I often hear the phrases “thoughts create reality” and “life is your mirror.” There is a measure of truth in these statements. However, I would offer that thoughts influence reality (if you can tell the difference between fantasies you don’t actually want to live out and those that you do). And life may indeed be a mirror, but not just of your own thoughts, feelings and actions, but that of the collective consciousness of the people around you.

The hologram - your everyday life experience - reflects back many things you probably didn’t even know existed in you. The hologram continually parades before us our dominant thoughts in action as well as unconscious thoughts that need to be brought to the surface and rooted out.

As I came to the awareness that our business seemed to be attracting more and more opportunities to work with rock musicians and well-known celebrities (and I’ve been doing more and more hand analysis sessions for these famous folks), the hologram, within days, offered me an opportunity to create even more connections in one of my favorite worlds - the world of music - by attending the Grammys! I’ve always been a bit wild and free and being with wild, uncensored, expressive creative folks is where I feel most at home. (That’s why I changed my college major from Economics to Acting & Directing!)

I also noticed that given my Life Purpose is the “Successful Business Owner and Spiritual Teacher in the Spotlight with Heart,” it was time for me to go even BIGGER with my message in a way I haven’t.

Since I wasn’t carefully paying attention to this truth in my own Life Purpose, the hologram brought me a string of Life Lesson challenges this year. Our Life Lesson is our blind spot or least evolved skill. It is the KEY to your hands and the KEY to your life. When you learn from your lesson, your purpose grows. If you avoid your lesson, your purpose goes south.

I realized that in some areas of my business, I was experiencing tremendous challenges but didn’t feel I could appropriately share my heart ache and personal experience. It felt too personal, too vulnerable and too exposing.

My Life Lesson is about loving myself no matter the emotional context and expressing what I feel regardless of the expectations of others. In some instances, my emotional responses were misunderstood, which deepened my self-judgment and inability to forgive myself for being human.

At first, the hologram gives you a whisper. If you don’t listen, it gives you a kick. If you still don’t listen, it gives you a tsunami. You may be left wondering, “Huh, why is this happening?”

No spiritual test is ever ‘personal.’ It is designed to develop our soul and move us to the next level.

Life is so bloody obvious sometimes, that even when the blood is dripping down your forehead into your eyes and sand is burrowed into your scalp from the third wakeup -spanking, there is a stubborn, ego-driven refusal to admit that, “Hmmmm, this approach may not be working.”

Coach’s Challenge: I invite you to write down three things currently in your life that are irritating, upsetting, frustrating, or painful. It could be a loud neighbor (a neighbor like me, for instance J), a sore foot, a disaster-zone closet or car trunk, a chronically dissatisfied child, spouse or client, or financial issues.

Get really specific about the ‘problem’ and then ask yourself this, “If I truly believe that everything that happens in my hologram is designed to wake me up to my true self, what is the true purpose of this situation?” Then OWN it fully, knowing you created the neighbor, the sore foot, the heart ache, etc.

I created those intense experiences in my hologram from my energetic patterns and anyone involved in those experiences also created me.

I have come to realize that all of the challenging events of my life are just opportunities for me to grow and learn. When difficult situations come into my life, I try to remember this and use these challenges as a chance to remain calm and not to react emotionally. I know that it is just an opportunity to engage them in a way that will allow all concerned to grow and learn.

First, I look inward to honestly admit what my part in the experience has been and acknowledge my own faults. I try to be totally honest with myself since that is the only way I can learn and move forward.

By not reacting emotionally, I am keeping the door open for future interaction because no one’s feelings are hurt. I try to remember that when people blame and point fingers without logical reason, they are usually just acting out of fear.

Then I respond calmly and offer solutions based on the facts as I see them and that come from my own integrity. This is not always comfortable though, because being in integrity also means standing strong by my personal convictions and commitments to myself and to others. One BIG lesson this year has been learning to stand up for what I believe is right and in alignment with my Life Purpose.

When the dust settles, I then review how I want to integrate what I have learned into specific actions for the future.

The bottom line for me is that the Universe has showed me that I need to be playing a much bigger game. I need to bring my message to millions of people worldwide. Okay, okay, Universe, I am listening!

#3 The Hologram Craves The Expression of Your Life Purpose

If you continue to follow the whispers of the Universe, more and more synchronicity flows into your life. If you refuse to listen, more and more tests, of increasing intensity, will show up to remind you of your Life Purpose.

Go ahead and write down your Life Purpose as you understand it today (whether you’ve had your Life Purpose Spiritual Blueprint deciphered with me or not).

Now ask yourself, “Am I fully expressing my Life Purpose to the best of my ability?” Then look at these four categories and rate your satisfaction with them on a scale from 1 to 10 (1 being lowest, 10 being highest):

• Finances
• Personal relationships
• Health
• Spirituality

Here’s the good news: you can change your scores if you don’t like them. Here’s the bad news: your ratings directly express how effectively and successfully you are living your Life Purpose.

Here are those categories again. Rate them on what you would LIKE them to be:

• Finances
• Personal relationships
• Health
• Spirituality

After you’ve put in your ideal ratings, write down what kind of person you would have to be to have that rating. For example, if you want a 10 in the health category, what kind of person would you need to be? Maybe you need to exercise four days a week, drink more water, hang out with other healthy people, etc. Unless those fundamental changes occur, your desire will simply stay a number on paper. It’s up to you.

As you take more and more actions that give you “10″ ratings, you will notice that your Life Purpose begins to rapidly accelerate in its expression and success. You may also notice that uncomfortable learning experiences come up faster and faster to be released from your holographic field. The learning experiences never end, because we have to constantly learn new life skills to fulfill our purpose.

I’ve learned, from the shocking lessons of my hologram, that I must always stay focused on the BIGGEST expression of my Life Purpose (vs. a smaller, hide-out version), that difficulties arise to show me where I’m not listening or where I need to develop more of my inner resources and abilities, and that synchronicity flows when I remove all self-judgment from my life.

The hologram of the past year kicked my butt over and over and every time I woke up, another amazing synchronicity would pop up as if to say, “Thank you for listening.”

I thank YOU for reading and hope that my sharing some of my more embarrassing, painful, and exciting breakthroughs is useful to you in your journey. We are all in this together, creating each other for our own education. The minute a lesson is done, the energy surrounding it disappears, to be replaced by a new energy.

What is appearing in your hologram?

If you really want clarity on how to best unleash and express your matchless Life Purpose, go to www.handanalyst.com and click on “I Want My Hands Read” before the investment price goes up at the end of this month.

We only have five hand analysis sessions available this month before the investment goes up, so if you have ANY questions, please contact our business manager, Cindy Gallo, at cindy@handanalyst.com.

Ah, cash flow. The life-blood of a successful business. Without cash, you can’t grow, invest or pay yourself or your staff. It seems obvious, but in my work with hundreds of entrepreneurs and desirous-of-being entrepreneurs, I can’t count the number of times I’ve said, “What are your revenue streams for this month?” to be met with blank stares, stammering, excuses and a whole lot of fear.

If this is you, first of all, let yourself off the hook and have compassion for your situation. You are hardly alone in having money anxiety. Second of all, it can be remedied – IF you are willing to take some simple, albeit uncomfortable, steps toward financial solvency.

Here are 5 steps I feel are critical to a successful cash flow experience.

Step #1: Assess Your Current Financial Situation

Obvious, right? Set up a meeting with your bookkeeper (you have a bookkeeper, right?) and go over your Profit & Loss statement (P&L). I recommend your bookkeeper have at least three years expertise in using Quickbooks online. If you don’t have a bookkeeper - yet - you’ll need to do this yourself. ASAP.

Then answer these questions: What debts do you have? What products and/or services in your business bring you the most revenue? What products and/or services are losing you money? Of the items that do not generate revenue to your bottom line, do these expenses bring you more clients? (If YES, you may want to keep them!)

Finally, how much revenue do you need each month to meet all your expenses (including debt repayment) and turn a profit?

Step #2: Set Your Money Goals

What is your money goal for 2010? Now, divide that by 12. For example, let’s say you want to bring in $75,000 in 2010. That translates to $6250.00 per month. Most of you could do that with a couple of new clients, right?

Now, divide 6250 by 4. That’s $1562.50 per week. Divide by 5. That’s $312.50 per workday each working week. (I didn’t account for holidays and days off, so you may want to factor that in.)

Remember, you might earn $12,000 in one month and $6000 in another. The key is to keep meeting or exceeding your daily, weekly, monthly and yearly benchmarks. For many of you, you will do this easily, client-by-client.

Write down your goals in pencil in a simple notebook to track them.

Step #3: Determine What You Will GIVE In Exchange for the Money

How will you meet your monthly money goal? In what ways do you want to deliver your products and services in exchange for money?

For example, let’s say your monthly goal is $6250.00. You determine that you can bring in that revenue by selling 25 copies of your new e-book at $37 ($925), 4 coaching clients at $600/month ($2400) and 10 people at a one-day workshop costing $297/person ($2970). The grand total = $6295.00. Obviously, you can play with the monthly number in whatever way suits the business you are in.

The KEY to success in meeting your money goal is two-fold. You MUST have confidence in your ability to help your client solve a problem they are having AND you MUST know how to sell: online, offline and by phone.

If you have any issues sharing your work with others and asking them to consider working with you, I HIGHLY recommend you take as many sales classes as possible and make as many calls as possible to get over this fear. OR hire a gifted salesperson to do it

Step #4: Do The Money Actions First Thing In The Morning

You probably went into business for yourself to do the work you love, right? You probably LOVE helping people get fantastic, transformational results and you love adding to your expertise. For now, set that aside, knowing that those decisions are already IN YOU, a part of you.

Now, when you show up to your office each day, ask yourself, “What tasks will bring me closest to the money most quickly?” For most of us, it’s being on the phone with prospective clients, sending out an email to prospective clients or a direct mail offer to prospective clients. Other precious, important uses of your time come in the form of delivering your services and creating new products and services.

The business you are really in is attracting new clients and fabulously serving your current clients. Are you tracking where your clients come from? How many client lead generation tools are you using? (search engine optimization [SEO], pay-per-click [PPC], free newsletter, direct mail campaigns, radio/TV ads and interviews, article submissions, etc. etc.?)

Step #5: Remember Your BIG VISION

What is the purpose of the money your business generates for YOU? Maybe you want to pay off your mortgage and pay for your kids’ college tuition this year. Maybe you want to travel to India and live there for six months. Maybe you want to stop working one-on-one and create a product-based business.

Whatever your goals are for your money, write down 5 for 2010.

Here’s an example list:

1. Pay off mortgage on my home
2. Hire two new sales people
3. Donate 10% of my gross revenue to my church
4. Redecorate bedroom
5. Put 20% of revenue in long-term savings (stocks, precious metals, real estate)

Bonus Tip: KNOW “Your Purpose”

If you know your Life Purpose, determining precisely the ‘work you love’ becomes very easy. It’s a ‘no-brainer.’ Business skills, selling skills, teaching skills - all these things can be learned. But the ONE THING that ONLY YOU can do is live your life purpose. As Doreen Virtue writes, “There is no competition for your life purpose.” ONLY YOU can live it! Are you ready?

Until Saturday, December 19^th, you can receive a Life Purpose hand analysis session with me for $600 off the regular price.

Go here to order now: http://www.handanalyst.com/products.html

Are you fulfilling the BIG vision that you know ONLY YOU can fulfill? I’ve noticed that lots of folks are NOT living their big vision. And I think it boils down to ONE THING that is so obvious, that you may just brush it aside.

So obvious that what I’m about to say may fly right over your head. In my talks with multi-multi-millionaires, they say the same thing, “Business is basic. What you’re selling may be complicated (or not), but business is business. Simple. Step-by-step. Map it out on paper and make it happen.”

Easy, right? Just make it happen. Hmmmmmmm… So if it’s not happening for you, what’s going on?

Ready for the answer?

You’re not thinking BIG enough.

I know, like duh, right? And you’ve probably heard it - oh, about a 100 times before.

Now, what do I mean by “thinking big?”

“Thinking big” gets lots of lip service, but how many people do you know personally who think big?

Let’s say you’re best friend is a gifted singer. You say to your friend, “Have you thought of creating a record? Getting a manager? Finding a way to sell your music?” And your friend may say: “I already tried that,” or “Oh, that’s a pipe dream. Accounting is a safe bet,” or my personal favorite, “Bug off! I’m happy with things just as they are.” Right. Sure you are. That’s why you sit watching “American Idol” and commenting on how you could do it so much better.

There are three ways I’ve discovered for thinking big that have RADICALLY changed my life and MY OUTCOMES.

#1 Ditch The Doubt

Before you actually even begin to think big, it’s essential to address what makes thinking big possible. You have to believe in yourself and in your right to have a dream. You must brush past naysayers without a second thought or a glance backward (this includes spouse, partner, family, friends - I don’t care who they are. Do not let ANYONE bring you down. Not anyone.) You must, must, must believe that your dream came to YOU because you are the very person to fulfill it.

If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will either. What will it take for you to ditch doubt and get dreaming?

# 2 Decide to Day Dream

Now it starts getting fun. Allow yourself to day dream. Visualize the outcome you seek. If you dream of traveling the world, see yourself traveling to the places that spark your desire. Where is the first place you would travel? For how long? For what purpose? How do you look in your day dreams? What are you wearing? Just put yourself there in your mind’s eye. Be sure to set aside time to just hang out and dream. 30 minutes once a week minimum is a good starting point.

The dream I visualize DAILY is helping hundreds of millions of people around the world discover the work they love. Work fills most of our hours. Why should it be tedious or unfulfilling? I have created a business model that I believe will allow me to reach people all over the world. I’m doing preliminary research and it’s not even going to cost as much as I thought. I ran my idea by one tech expert and he said, “Done,” and proceeded to layout my specific vision in exact detail.

Having a prosperous business allows me to do even more to give back. This is not lip service for me. It is truly my dream. And it gets bigger. I intend to see the end of poverty and illiteracy IN MY LIFETIME. The solutions already exist. All that is needed is one person who believes it is possible and then it becomes possible for many, many more people. I am hardly alone in this belief. Maybe you’ll join me?

I simply know that my job is to leave this planet in better shape than I found it when I was born. It’s the least I can do for this awe-inspiring, unbelievable life I’ve been given.

How about you? Will you decide to dream your dream and make it real? And if you do, what will be your LEGACY?  What kind of world will you leave behind for those that follow you?

#3 Write Down Your Dream and Read It To Your Self EVERY DAY

This particular step has some kind of magic in it. Go ahead and write down your dream in vivid detail. Don’t tell me you don’t know what you want. EVERYONE knows what they want. If I asked you enough times, you would break down and admit your dream. (See step #1 if you’re still ‘confused’ about your dream.)

If you want to own a healing center, learn ballroom dancing, or move to Tahiti, write it down. If you can dream it, the way to do it exists. Reading my dream every day makes even my most tedious tasks take on great importance and a sense of fun. I know that as I fulfill the basic steps of growing my business, it creates the income to grow into even larger dreams. Your dream might be to have six children or raise llamas or join the circus. If it makes you happy, find a way to make it real.

Remember: Believe It, Day Dream It, Write It Down

Yes, it’s really that simple.

Bonus Tip #4: KNOW Your Specific Life Purpose

If you do the work you love, it will naturally express your Life Purpose. Your Life Purpose is the SECRET to your success. Do you know yours? Find out more here.

“LAST CHANCE to Coach With Baeth For All of 2010!

In Order to Transcend BEYOND YOUR LIVELIHOOD Into Living Your RIGHT LIFE!”

RE: An Important Note From Cindy Gallo, Business Manager, The Hand Analyst, Inc.

As we come to the end of 2009, we look back at what an amazing year we’ve had here at The Hand Analyst, Inc. What a year of learning, growth, healing, loving, happiness and transformation!

We look at what amazing things have come from having you with us! Baeth’s Summit last June in Las Vegas couldn’t have happened without YOU! Baeth’s two coaching programs this year couldn’t have happened without YOU. Baeth’s Hand Analysis Intensive Weekend could not have happened without YOU.  I’m sensing a trend here.

So since YOU have been right here the whole time, supporting Baeth and sending in your encouraging emails, words of wisdom, and oodles of insight, we wanted YOU to be the first to hear about what she has in store for 2010.

Baeth is only doing ONE Master Mind group this year… the Phenomenal Entrepreneur Coaching Circle [PECC] 2010.

This is unlike ANY Master Mind group she has EVER done.

This is the nitty gritty of spiritual development and personal growth, where you will claim the passionate work you love, and access the necessary business knowledge you may need: marketing, copywriting, tele-class skills, and so on - as your business requires.

Baeth has also laid out a flexible ’spiritual curriculum’ to support you throughout the year in fully embracing the work you love - so your livelihood expresses your Life Purpose. In other words, this is BEYOND Livelihood - this is about living your “RIGHT LIFE!”

This group will only have 20 primary members. You are welcome to bring a spouse/partner or key employee to the meetings.

The screening process for this program will be thorough to ensure a harmonious group.

We have sent out a few applications to a select group of clients that have requested to work with Baeth in the past. This is why we are emailing you today.

We know there are a lot of you who would love to work with Baeth and have been waiting for the ‘right time’ or the ‘right group’.  Well folks, this is it!

This is truly going to be a LIFE CHANGING 2010!  (And your ONLY chance to coach with Baeth directly in 2010! She is planning VERY limited VIP coaching in 2011, so don’t miss out on this!)

We have already received several applications back and the spots are filling quite fast.  (Clients are already making deposits simply to hold their spots. We’ve tried telling people this in the past  - who thought we were kidding - and then they were disappointed to discover no spots were left.)

Will you be the next PECC member? Are you ready to TRULY harness your spiritual power so that you can TRULY know, live and fully unleash your Life Purpose in EVERY area of your life?

Just send an email to cindy@handanalyst.com and request an assessment application, fill it out, email it back, have a private chat with Baeth and see if this is right for you!

As a bonus for being a loyal Baeth reader, we are offering a complimentary One Hour Private Hand Analysis with Baeth if you join the 2010 PECC!  (Price is going up to $2997.00 in the new year.)

So email me right now at cindy@handanalyst.com and get ready to EASILY do the livelihood you love while expressing your “right life!”

Warmest regards,

On-Site Business Manager “The Hand Analyst, Inc.”

Cindy@handanalyst.com

P.S. Even if you’re not sure, respond to me right away at Cindy@handanalyst.com and I’ll set up a private strategy session for you with Baeth to see if the program is a good fit for you.

My Life Purpose, from my fingerprints (aka my “spiritual blueprint”), is “Successful Businesswoman and Spiritual Teacher with a Special Message for a Large Audience - With Heart.”

My core message is this: “You have a unique purpose on this planet. It’s ‘your purpose - in your hands.’ Only YOU have the power to unleash this inner potency and make it manifest in the world. Doing so is the greatest thing you could ever do.”

And while my message compels me, impels me passionately forward, there is a constant winnowing process occurring where I must let go of outmoded ways of being to embrace a new way of being. If I resist this process of letting go, the lessons come faster - and harder.

Ironically, the hardest lesson this year has been letting go.

Here’s a light-hearted example. Recently, I received the infamous “Facebook spank” and my account was disabled. I think it was because I had an increase in friend requests going out from my account. I had exported my personal mailing list and was requesting folks who weren’t already  ‘friends.’ I think the powers that be suspected my account was hacked (it wasn’t).

I may or may not get my account reinstated, but silly me - Facebook is free! I should have - if I’d been smart - backed up my friends’ list AND all the content I posted on there. Did I? No, I didn’t. I don’t own my Facebook info (and you don’t own yours either) - Facebook does. They can do whatever they want with your posted info. Not the greatest customer service policy if you ask me, but they haven’t responded yet. There is no one to talk to or call at their headquarters. Email after email request has gone unanswered. So what can I do?

“Let it go.” What will be, will be. (Put out some good energy for me, okay? I like communicating with y’all on there! And there’s always Twitter!)

The same goes for interpersonal relationships.

I went out with some friends last Friday night. We had such a good time, we decided to go out again Saturday night. Unfortunately, expectations being what they are, Saturday night was a pale reflection of Friday night. Late night pancakes lightened the mood slightly, but I was astounded at how irritated I was that the evening had not unfolded in an order to my liking.

This may not seem like much, but for me, it was a spiritual comeuppance. Broken “expectations” are usually a sign that I’m holding on way too tight to a particular mood, feeling, outcome or ambition.

These two experiences - a Facebook disappearance and a disappointing evening - seemed to be trying to tell me something. Um, maybe it’s time to “let it go.”

And let go of what else? On the physical level, I cut off four inches of my hair (right before my karaoke adventure!) and died it dark espresso with gold streaks. Ditched a lot of weight around my middle thanks to my encouraging and merciless physical trainer, Zach. Let go of tons of clothes that I no longer wear, gave our king-size custom-made futon bed to our daughter and ordered a custom-made Westin Heavenly Bed (the most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept on!). Replacing our carpet with hardwood flooring, replacing old vanities with new ones (hopefully, just the ones in our bathrooms!), and finally furnishing our barren living room.

On the internal level, I’ve embraced my Life’s Purpose more deeply. That means that the tasks I undertake on a daily level aim to express my truth and my heart. Everything I do needs to express my highest self to the best of my ability. I have released anxiety and replaced it with the quest for excellence. Doing things well, in my own way, on my own schedule is just fine. I’ve let go of being ‘good’ and accepting ‘good enough.’ I’ve let go of thinking ‘I know’ what’s going to happen. I have a vision but how that vision unfolds is part of the mystery and the joy of living.

Most of all, when the day ends, it’s time to just wrap it up and let it go. Off to slumber land, surrendered, relaxed and ready for the next adventure!

Are you surrendered to your Life’s Purpose? If not now, when? To YOUR Purpose - it’s in YOUR hands!

A Mosaic Grid

As I lay daydreaming one day on Venice beach, I saw the galaxy float around me in the shape of a grid. Imagine a parking garage made of golden filament stretching in all directions, north, south, east and west - an “infinite grid” of possibility.

Quantum physicists can’t agree if the observer and the observed aren’t actually the same thing, if existence is actually one giant web that stretches forever and if within that web resides all possibilities, all outcomes, all experiences, forever. Some scientists even suspect that consciousness seeks to know itself by experiencing EVERYTHING, which, of course, would take forever… and would imply that YOUR consciousness seeks to know everything as well. That’s a whole lotta life times! It seems that life without end is more than a philosophical or religious concept.

Michael Talbot, in his book The Holographic Universe shares scientific studies about OBEs (out of body experiences), NDEs (near death experiences) and PLEs (past life experiences) among the monster compilation of research he’s assembled. What is striking is that individuals returning from these altered states of consciousness report very similar experiences, regardless of background, ethnicity, income level, and just about every other demographic marker you can think of.

These time travelers report that there is a ‘room’ you enter, in between lives, where your entire life is played back for you in 360-degree surround sound. You experience every thought, feeling, and memory you’ve ever had as well as the feelings of the other people who’ve played important roles in your life. You feel what they felt - in lightning speed.

Then the angels consult with you about what you learned this life and your plan for your next life. The angels don’t seem to be concerned with your morality, your religion or your achievements. They are interested in two things: Did you do everything with love and did you continually seek self-knowledge and understanding?

Imagine that the ‘goal’ of your life is to do everything with love and to continually discover the depths of who you are? That’s it. Everything else is designed to serve those purposes. Your bank account, your popular associations, your striving - not interesting to the angels. Love and knowledge… those are the reasons.

Now imagine you are consulting with the angels for your next life. You decide that you want to be a healer who has to overcome low self-worth and paralyzing fears of rejection in order to bring forth an innovative healing technique on planet Earth (it’s possible you might choose another planet, of course).

This “life plan” also appears in your fingerprints, as if to provide you with a map and a reminder of your destiny. Your fingerprints form between the 14^th and 16^th week of in uterine development and don’t change. However, whether you fulfill the plan you created is up to you.

As an observer observing the world from my limited one-person perspective, I offer you this: there is an urgency to fulfill this plan for this is your one shot - in this body. But… if at first you don’t succeed, you can always try again. You have eternity, after all.

I send out a kiss to your hands, your toes, your beautiful face, your lovely hair, your tender heart, your deep mind, your bright consciousness. Bless you for choosing to come here to Earth to keep this creation experiment unfolding. Remember to breathe if you start to get ahead of yourself or feel overwhelmed, trapped, anxious or scared. This life is just a chapter in the never ending story.

A toast to YOU this Thanks Giving! May you complete your chapter with gusto… it makes the reading so much richer!

The Empress “Looking Back” Over 2009

Recently, one of my Phenomenal Entrepreneur Coaching Circle clients reminded me of the story of “The Emperor’s New Clothes” by Hans Christian Andersen. Two weavers promise an Emperor a new suit of clothes that are invisible to others deemed “unfit for their positions or incompetent.” As the Emperor is outfitted in his ‘invisible’ clothes by miming attendants, he hesitates to question his nakedness so he doesn’t appear unfit for his position or incompetent.

Later, when the Emperor parades before his subjects in his new clothes, a child cries out, “But he isn’t wearing anything at all!”

The key character in the story is the child who points out the naked truth while the others either refuse to see or deny the obvious.

Discovering the naked truth in my business this year has been both a revelation and, at times, a shock…

By stripping myself of my illusions, fantasies and unrealistic expectations, I have discovered some remarkable things about myself and my business that are part of my soul’s truth. This process of stripping my soul bare and admitting my nakedness and vulnerability is part of my commitment to living my Life Purpose, full out, no excuses, regardless of the expectations of others.

This commitment gifted me some of my highest highs and lowest lows this year. My intention is to share them with you as a confession, and hopefully, a revelation.

#1 All Things Pass: Endings and Beginnings

Last week, we put down our beloved dog, Sam. He was a rescue dog and had been with us for six years. He joined the family shortly after our Golden Retriever, Maggie, died at age 16. What shocked me most amidst my conflicted feelings was realizing how fleeting life is. One moment, Sam was here, the next moment he was gone. He relaxed into the vet’s loving hands, without a struggle or protest. Did he know he was going to die? I doubt it. If he did, I think he would have run away. That thought stirs the most sadness in me. He trusted us so much that he allowed us to send him on his next journey in the same way he would receive a stroke on his soft black head. He trusted us absolutely to do what was best for him.

In my business, I am re-discovering some things I love to share with my clients and releasing some things that no longer serve. Although expanding into the new direction is thrilling, I can feel the anxiety of letting go, not unlike knowing Sam was ready to leave. Being ready to change is not the same as wanting to change. Does anyone want to die? Mostly not except in those cases when the person is really ready and really done here. Are we sometimes ready to die to one part of ourselves so another can be born? The continual cycle of death and life, endings and beginnings, is eternal.

And that realization is the death of anxiety, because our consciousness is eternal and this life is merely a chapter in the unfolding life of the infinite Universe. We are part of something so much larger than we can possibly conceive. We are part of an ever-changing, ever-growing unknowable whole. It is awe inspiring.

#2 Stand Your Ground and Don’t Back Down

Our ego - the part of our brain concerned with self-preservation and separation - lives to be ‘right.’ It feeds on drama, gossip, and negativity. It loves intrigue, suspicion and craves dissatisfaction. It is a part of all of us, stronger in some than in others, but a part of all of us, for even the most enlightened must contend with the rapacious ego.

To wrestle one’s ego into submission is as simple as taking a deep breath and asking, “What is wrong in this moment?” Usually, nothing. As you bring your attention to this moment, this relationship, this breath, enlightenment just is. You are you, without a mask, defenses, posturing or the need to be right.

This year, I’ve watched my ego struggle the most when I’ve had to stand my ground to stay in integrity with myself, even if those around me disagreed. It has taken nearly all my will to turn away from those who do not support me in doing what I must to honor myself. My ego has desperately wanted their approval, approbation and forgiveness even amidst my desire to be free and true to myself. Talk about contradiction! I’ve had to discover the very fine line between honoring my integrity and my ego’s need to be right.

I can tell if I need to be right if I’m seeking approval or reassurance in my decision. I can tell if it’s my true soul’s purpose if there is no one to consult but my higher self and the legacy I wish to leave behind. I am discovering that what others say about me is none of my business. It is about them, not about me. Just as anything I might say about someone else - positively or negatively - is about me, not them. (Who else would it be about? It’s coming through my own filter of perception.) These are fine distinctions, but necessary for my self-discovery.

I have learned to stand my ground and not back down when every fiber of my being simply knows what is best - not for others, for myself. Recently, I had to do this with a friend. I do believe she is doing what she feels is right and that is her choice. I, of course, must do the same. While our choices might conflict, I trust a higher order is working to teach us exactly what it needs to teach us. For me, the lesson is “stand my ground and don’t back down.”

The fact that it is a friend whom I cherish and who can play the friendship card makes this the ultimate test for me. I am blessed to have such a good teacher. This test is helping me to be clear in EVERY relationship in my life, both personal and professional. I am currently doing a ‘boundary inventory’ and cleaning up every relationship that needs some fine-tuning.

#3 Embrace The Love That Is

Each of us instinctively loves others in the way we wish to be loved. It flows from our core values. I have a list of core values typed up and framed on my desk, last updated 4/22/03, 10 days after my wedding. It reads like this:

1. LOVE = with myself, with Mark (my husband), with others, with life

2. HEALTH = exercise, eating well, ample rest & relaxation

3. “WATER” = source of life, ease, peace, emotional authenticity & safety (water represents emotion)

4. TRIBE = friendship with family and friends

5. CONNECTION TO THE DIVINE = meditation, prayer

As I look at these values (I have a list of about 10 more that are very meaningful to me), I am reminded of what truly motivates my actions, day in and day out. I enjoy giving and receiving love. I enjoy feeling vital, energized and healthy. Water is my source of solace and I like to let the water of my emotions move through me effortlessly. My tribe are my people - my family, friends and treasured clients. My connection to the divine is the source of my inner peace and my greatest teacher.

As I have come to know myself, I have discovered that my desire for “everyone to like me” comes from being in the School of Love (the hands have four schools: peace, wisdom, love and service). If you look at my values above, there is a deep theme of “connection” running through them.

I fear the ‘loss of love’ or loss of connection - so that the experience of someone withdrawing their love from me feels like someone cutting out my heart. I ‘know’ intellectually that I am the source of my own love, but when someone disconnects, I feel I am somehow less than and must win that approval back to be okay. If this isn’t your lesson, you know as you read this. If it IS your test, you also know - deep in your heart.

This year, I’ve been both the receiver and giver of disconnection - sometimes with the same person! Funny that. It has broken me wide open and laid me flat. I am better for it because I am discovering that there is great love all around me. While I’m busy wasting time trying to regain what is lost, done, complete, the love that IS is just waiting for me, there for the asking.

Which begs the question - if I’m longing after love lost, then maybe I’m really afraid of the intimacy that comes with true connection? Ah, why? Because if I REALLY love someone all the way - and something happens - I fear total emotional devastation. So better to be distracted by a faulty connection than to plug in full force to the connection that will transcend my own ego. I confess - I am willing to fully plug in and be seen and known and see and know others.

Alright already! That’s enough confession for today! I figure things out by writing about them (and talking about them, too!). I’ll be back next week with some more… Please share your thoughts - and your confessions here - if you dare! - by clicking on the comment icon on this page.