“Don’t aim at success−the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does as the unintended side-effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success; you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long run−in the long run, I say!−success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think of it.” - Viktor E. Frankl, foreword to his landmark book, Man’s Search for Meaning. Frankl survived the Auschwitz death camp and went on to change the landscape of spiritual and psychological healing practices worldwide.Man’s Search for Meaning is widely regarded as one of the top 10 books of all time.

Much has been written about happiness, and yet, in my observation of Western society, so few seem to exhibit even a glimmer of joy. The eyes lack sparkle.

If all the grumpy Gus’s and their neuroses got shipped off to India or Africa for a month with nothing but the clothes on their back and the change in their pocket, given only the commandment, “serve others,” they would−most of them (not all!)−return humbled and grateful. They might say, “I have no problems of any significance. It is my privilege to serve and give the best of what I’ve got.”

I’m not suggesting you suppress your feelings and fake a smile, nor deny serious issues requiring your attention. If anything, I am encouraging you to go deeply into those problems with a renewed attitude of enthusiasm and either find a solution or move on to something you can actually do something about it in a meaningful way.

It may be naïve, but perhaps you might try out what I offer here. My suggestions come solely from my own life experiences and my desire to alleviate your suffering. I feel physical pain in my heart when I see people suffering. Sadly, nearly ALL the pain I see is self-inflicted due to fear, cowardice, self-judgment, blame, denial, rationalization, justification, explanation… need I go on? I am myself a recovering neurotic who has had to relinquish sloth, gluttony and an unearned sense of entitlement to find happiness.

My awakening to the power of happiness started with a four-month journey to India and Nepal in 1995. Suffice to say (I’ll tell the whole sordid story in my upcoming book!), it was not what I expected. The land of spiritual harmony I’d created in my imagination was instead controlled chaos, populated with over a billion people, debris and trash everywhere, dogs, rats and cows openly roaming the streets, beggars amputated by pimps to elicit sympathy in a bid for bigger donations, homeless dirty children and dead people awaiting their final fiery float down the Ganges. And magic. Life and death dancing together with no regard for propriety or making people feel better about themselves. The children were almost always smiling unless they were hungry or sick. There was happiness in this wildness. That was a clue.

Arriving home, I kissed the ground with gratitude for my abundant life of love, education and incredible freedom to express. I promptly fell into a spiritual crisis of meaning. Why was I here? Feelings of suicide set in; apparently a very normal part of accepting that life asks nothing of us and owes us nothing−life reflects the meaning we give it, nothing more, nothing less. Clue number two.

Calling a friend late one night in dire straits, lost and panicked, she said, “Baeth, why don’t you just pray?”Surrender. Clue number three.

I did pray. This was my prayer: “God, Universe, whatever is out there, if you will show my life’s purpose, I will forever be your humble servant. I will go where you ask me to go and do what you ask me to do.”

Two weeks later, I had my hands read. I was told, “Baeth, your life purpose is essentially ‘love.’ Kind of like Jesus taught. You have a special message about unconditional love for the masses.” Oh, Lord, I thought. No responsibility there! It freaked me out and excited me all at once, tears streaming down my cheeks. I truly despised my abusive experiences at the hands of nuns and yet, figured this irony was perfect in its creepy oddness. I always prided myself on being the ‘weird one.’ I mean, seriously, “Christ consciousness?” I didn’t know whether to laugh or throw up, but it felt alright, a-okay. At least I had a direction. And loving people was something that always came easily to me. I was much harder on myself than anyone around me.

Jump to today. I call my life purpose, “Spiritual Teacher in the Business of Love in the Spotlight.”Sometimes I just hold the space to unconditionally love my clients, at other times, I teach about relationship skills and at other times, I teach about creating a business you love. What I am certain of is that it feels right and good.

I also know that happiness is a choice.

Here are 3 ways to dump your own head trash and claim your happiness now… try ‘em out – let me know how it goes, okay?

#1 Discover Your Life Purpose (NOTHING−nothing, I say!−is more important.)

Give your life purpose a title that makes you feel exquisitely aligned with your true self every time you say it. Then, go live it!

Viktor Frankl survived Auschwitz by focusing on the good he could find, rather than the evil. He went on to change history. His book, Man’s Search for Meaning, essentially says, “Find your purpose and do it.” That’s it. That’s all you really need to do. Stop expecting to be rewarded for it or for life to bend to your will−that’s not the point. Do it for the love of it. Life owes you nothing. Give your all to life and feel the freedom that comes with self-liberation.

#2 Hell Yes To Your Intuition

As a friend once told me, “If it’s not a ‘hell YES!’ it’s a ‘hell NO.’” I now know that all I have to do is follow my clear intuitions and let all the other chatter in my head go bye-bye. It’s taken 43 years to make this a solid habit, but I tell you, it works out every time career-wise, financially, romantically when I follow the ‘hell yes.’ When I ignore the red flags, pain usually follows. Mind-numbing pain. Another friend describes this as crawling across broken glass on your lips. Pay head to your gut intuitions and be brave: say it, do it, face it, give it. Stop making excuses. It’s boring. And no one cares anyway. Give people something to care about by offering your best and find that you are happy for no reason most days.

#3 Bring Happiness To Others (It’s Your Responsibility!)

Have you noticed that happy people seem to create happiness around them (as well as opportunity)? Did you know that our negative moods are many times more impactful on others than our happy moods? I see this effect when I’m teaching. When I am struggling to find my happy place, it brings the whole class energy down. My mantra for 2012 is: “It is my responsibility to be happy in any and all circumstances. My well being and that of others depends on my good attitude.”

When I got divorced, people offered sympathy. While any ending brings with it grief, there was nothing to be unhappy about. My former husband and I are better off, not worse off. We honored our intuition in being together and we honored it in the ending. His business is soaring and I am finally stepping into the spotlight, a major piece of my life purpose that I’ve only dabbled with until now. As a master mind buddy said to me, “Um, Baeth, how are you going to bring the power of the life purpose message to millions if you’re not famous?” Right. Check. I get it. Rather than ‘seek’ fame, I’ve avoided it.

How did the spotlight show up for me to share the message? I finally decided it was time and the opportunities started showing up. Mind you, I have 13 years of expertise in my field and I am camera-ready after years on the stage. It’s discipline meeting opportunity. (That’s bonus tip #4.)

By Baeth Davis, Your Prosperity Purpose Mentor

Baeth showing off the body paint work of the artist, Amir,
Venice, California, Dec. 2011

“Put your hands up.” In ancient palmistry lore, when someone shows you their hands, they have nothing to hide. What you see is what you see. It was also thought to be an offering of compassion from a spiritual leader to his or her community. (I was not thinking about any of this when the picture was being taken. I was thinking about how cool those Hebrew letters looked on my hand and chest.)

Compassion for myself is a strong aspect of my Life Lesson — emotional authenticity.Compassion for others is fairly easy (except when it’s not); I can see people struggling daily to find health, wealth and happiness as well as their passion, their purpose and their own peace of mind.

“Passion” means to suffer for what you love, “compassion” means to recognize that suffering in another.

While attending a dance workshop in Australia with my beloved teacher, Jo Cobbett, she asked the students to write about compassion. I share what I wrote with you today and then some ideas about how compassion might factor into your business.

“Compassion… is a lost wax method, requiring the hollowing out of the SELF to be filled with the sense, the implication, the knowledge of another, to have one’s outer shell chipped away, melted and reformed into something stronger, shinier, grander than what was.

Humility comes close sister to her brother, Compassion, which means “with passion.”

Compassion is not sycophantic nor is it always sweetness; compassion is the force of feeling – of wax melting away into liquid metal, the alchemical elixir of the Gods and Goddesses.

Compassion is the greatest of all healers, having total understanding for the depth of someone else’s unknown, as deep as my own, maybe much much much deeper.

So much that can’t be solved with words. More often, through the dance, wordless form moving through space, such love, such feeling, such force of gentleness. I see myself in another. And feel the other – unconditionally. And know that, for a moment, at least, there is the unity of energy matching energy, finding an even level, harmonizing. Delicious, exquisite one-ness. Known. With compassion.”

If you consider turning toward yourself and your business with compassion, what arises in you? Are you allowed to say “easy does it” and take a break? Have some fun? Remember the moment?

1. Compassion for … Change.

Perhaps what once worked no longer works. Every industry is changing due to a revolving door of technological innovation, staff restlessness and advances by competitors. (According toFast Company, three mobile phone companies dominated in 2005. Just six years later, those companies are out of play and the mobile phone industry is led by Samsung and Apple.)

Your business model doesn’t work. Then you find one that works. For a while. Until it doesn’t. And then you need to find another model, and another and another. This is the world we now live in. The industrial age bowed to efficiency but abhorred flexibility. Today you must be quick and nimble. Have compassion for yourself if you find all this change dizzying.

I suggest writing down the three things you are great at. And then ask how you might use technology to share your greatness with others. Brainstorm with a few business associates. Take it further.

2. Compassion for … Your Client.

 Have you climbed inside the mind of your client? What is keeping them up at night? Money worries? Stress-related health issues? A chronic illness? An ailing parent? A challenging marriage? A special-needs child? A desire for something new, exciting and transforming to transcend the boredom that has overcome their life?

Choose ONE issue that many of your clients struggle with. How could you combine your three great talents, technology and their need for a novel solution?

Can you feel love and respect for your clients? Or do they wear you out? Do you always speak of them with esteem and regard? Do you strive to give them what they need – while still remembering yourself? Find out what they need – or even better - what they don’t even know they need but they truly want - and provide it to them!

3. Compassion for … Your Competition.

There is so much hype everywhere, who knows what to believe? And if you are struggling with finding your business model or giving your clients what they most desire, you may feel you are somehow flawed, stupid, slow, damaged, or just not getting it. And then you may feel pressured – ‘if I don’t adapt quickly enough, I’ll be left in the dust.’ (Remember, self-compassion first and always!)

Here are my thoughts on ‘competition.’ First of all, I do agree with Doreen Virtue: “There is no competition for your life purpose.” Only you can be you. There is only one of you. As Oscar Wilde said, “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.” The awareness of your fleeting magical presence on Earth ought to provide you with some relief. “Do You” to your best ability and call it good. If you didn’t do your best, well, do better tomorrow.

As for competition in the marketplace, it is real, it complicated and it can come and go. Sometimes, one business dominates an industry - Apple is having their run right now. Even if they last as long as the Roman Empire, it’s unlikely they will last ‘forever.’ Nothing does.

You may open your pond to too many fishermen and get fished out, being too generous granting access to anyone and everyone who requests your help. (Do you remember compassion to yourself first?!) If so, shore up your banking, and invite in new fish that you can feed with care and love. “Protecting your pond” is just smart business. If you do decide to let others in to fish, ask yourself:

1) is this opportunity good for my clients?;

2) is this opportunity good for my business?

If you don’t get a ‘yes’ to both, pass on the opportunity.

Most of all, remember yourself in all you do and have compassion for the person you are and are becoming. In this community of healers, artists, spiritual teachers and service-minded entrepreneurs, we are notorious (and not in a good way) for putting everyone – our partner, kids, friends, clients – in front of our own needs. The entrepreneurs I see flourishing have a much easier time saying the following:

“This is, ultimately, MY business. I will design this business first to suit my personality, values, and lifestyle preferences. I will deliver client experiences through my products, programs and services that delight me and leave the client feeling good, even ecstatic about their interaction with my company. I make sure that I ways do what is best for my own well being first, so I can serve others well. My company is profitable in a way that serves me, others and then the world.”

Your Purpose Mentor’s Challenge: Journal about your degree of compassion toward yourself first. Pick three areas in your life you feel ashamed of and ask what compassion could do to turn around your attitude. Then journal about how change, competition and your clients are affecting you, positively and negatively. What would compassion, mixed in with some curiosity, courage and creativity, do for your business today?

by Baeth Davis, Your Prosperity Purpose Mentor

Poster Baeth created for a 7^th grade history project. The document is still in her possession

When people first heard what I did for a living, they laughed. When they heard how much money I made doing what I do (scientific hand analysis, commonly known as ‘palm reading’), they stopped laughing. They either turned away in a daze or started asking me, “Baeth, how did you do this?”

When I tell people how I created my business, most can’t believe it’s that simple or that it requires focus, determination and work. They want a magic pill. Oh well, I can’t give you that, but I can share my experience.

It all started in the 7^th grade when I did a report on palmistry. My dad encouraged me as he read a palmistry book by the palmist, Cheiro, and he did little palm readings for his friends at parties! You can see the poster board above that I created for my presentation and still have in my possession today. My desire was there when I was a mere 11 years old. It hasn’t gone away.

The things you loved as a child are your soul’s passion calling to you. Are you willing to let go of what’s ‘safe’ to have what is true?

Jump to the present. Here are the YourPurpose.com business goals for 2012:

1. Grow our prospective client base by 10 times with new YourPurpose.comcommunity members
2. Serve current clients with excellence
3. Gross 2.5 million or more in revenues over and above our 2011 revenues (Our revenues in 2011 were UP over 2010 – in THIS economy. Imagine.)

Why do I tell you this?

People still constantly – I mean, constantly – ask me how I turned ‘palm reading’ into profits. Profitability doesn’t just happen by praying to God or just thinking about what you want to create or just writing it down. It is more than that – all though faith and intention helps the process flow much better than if you are doubtful, cranky and resistant. Obviously, right?

Here’s my manifestation process:

1. Visualize your outcome – work backwards from your goal.
2. Believe in yourself. No one else will if you don’t. Self-confidence is vital.
3. Make a plan. Research it. Write it all out – in as much detail as you can manage. Share it with those who will be instrumental in helping you achieve your goal. For example, to reach our revenue goal, I divide our annual goal by 12 for our monthly goal, then our monthly goal by 4 for our weekly goal, then divide our weekly goal by 5 for our daily goal – excluding weekends. [Do YOU know how much you need to bring EACH working day to reach your goal? If not now, when?]
4. Eliminate distracting people, places and things from all your environments – closets, car, office, bedroom, etc. (Um, hopefully there are no people in your closets or your car trunk.) My rules: make a plan daily and check things off the list, kindness is non-negotiable, and the customer is always right, except when they are obnoxious, then we block their IP address, never to be heard from again. Why? There is NO excuse for abuse. Ever. From anyone. If you expect respect, you will get it. Be sure to give it.
5. Choose a positive attitude, no matter your circumstances. Victor Frankl, Holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning, one of the most influential books of all time, said that attitude is the only thing no one can take from you. And he beat the Nazis. Remember that.
6. Implement. The most successful people I know are always asked, “What is the #1 key to success?” Answer “take action.” DO it. The word “do” is in the word D-O-N-E. My favorite word.
7. Track, test and measure your results. What is your home page conversion from visitor to opt in? What are your best-selling programs and products? Who purchases from you most frequently? If you don’t know, find out and watch your profits soar when you adjust based on the numbers.
8. Marketing is math. Enough said.
9. Ask for the sale. “Heart-based” selling is selling. It just means that you actually sell something and deliver, it doesn’t mean not asking for the sale or being wimpy – unless you are making money every day in your business, you are being wimpy. Sorry, but it’s true.
10. The money is in the phone. Get on the phone and ask for the sale. If you can’t sell by phone, don’t start a business. Period. Learn that ONE skill and you will blow your own mind – and see your profits do things you only used to read about. As Chellie Campbell, friend, inspiration and author of the Wealthy Spirit, says, “The money is in the phone!” 
11.  ONLY do what you love. Focus on the three things that you are great at and ditch, delegate or delay the rest. Hey, I understand the concept of html code and even used to edit my own, but I’m so unskilled, a blind monkey makes me look dumb. In the beginning, I did as much as I could to save money. Then I got on the phone and started asking for the sale, which led to success and the opportunity to hire others to help me!

Remember who you were as a child. What made you really really happy? Who did you admire? Your dream is RIGHT there. Will 2012 be the year you live honestly or will you keep making excuses for the dreary, the normal, the expected?

I believe in you. I believe in YOUR PURPOSE. Do you? I think you do. I know you do. Happy New Year!!!

Your Purpose Mentor’s Challenge: Get a piece of paper. Write down the numbers one through 11 in the left-hand column. Pick ONE big powerful goal for 2012 and write out all 11 steps. Then go do it.

By Baeth Davis, Your Prosperity Purpose Mentor

If resolutions worked for most of us, we wouldn’t need to make the same ones every January first. The key of course, is to change course whenever it is time. If it’s time for a new job, new relationship (maybe with yourself!), or new body, you can make this change at any time. Question is, when it’s time to shift, do you actually shift?

Let’s back up here for a moment. Most folks I meet are bored, stuck and frustrated by life. They feel let down, disappointed and annoyed by their circumstances. This may be because, at least in Western culture, we are constantly told we are ‘not enough.’ It is how most products are sold. If you had this lotion, info-product, shoes, car, blah, blah, blah, you would be suddenly sexy, thin, charismatic and by default, incredibly rich and sought-after. It’s crap, of course, but it sells.

Why do we buy a lie? We don’t want to grow up. We wish to stay children in our magical thinking Universe, waiting for someone, anyone to pluck us from the loneliness and uncertainty of our existential existence and tell us, “It’s going to be okay and I’ll fix it for you.”

Fact is, sometimes it’s okay and sometimes it is just plain awful. I’m telling you this not to bum you out but to empower you to look at your life honestly.

This past year, I enjoyed my work more than I ever have before. The programs and products we offered came from my core passions and talents. I feel our business is attracting a wide range of dedicated, compassionate, talented people. It was a great year creatively.

Financially, I made a lot of money (particularly amazing to me in this economic time of change). Or rather, I grossed a lot of money. I also got divorced. That was expensive (so many expenses – had to find a new place to live, new office, lawyer’s fees – you get the idea) so I didn’t net a lot of money. And the house I got married in burned to the ground in a massive forest fire that destroyed hundreds of thousands of acres and cost millions in damage. Humorous perspective? We always wanted to tear that house down and rebuild so nature did it for us!

On the upside, my former husband is still one of my best friends and he and I are going to roll out a program to help you jump start your life purpose-driven business in the near future. Divorce is challenging in the best circumstances. For me, I made a choice to have minimally no outer drama, but oh, did I cry myself to sleep many many nights and journal out my confusion until my fingers were blistered (really).

2011 saw me dancing again nearly three times a week, spending more time with my sister and close friends, writing, hiking and traveling. 2011 helped me understand that I don’t know very much about the future. Despite my plans, life does what it wants, with or without my cooperation. And yet, it is vital to plan! I grasped that love means keeping my heart open, even when my head rambles on about the past pain or future hope.

A new friend, Paige, shared some powerful year-end reflection and year-beginning creation questions with me. She said, “I think you’ll want these. I think you’re going to want to share them. You have my permission to do so.” She was right. I invite you to take 90 minutes and write out your answers. I did last month and found the experience profoundly eye-opening and healing. (And if you find them useful, please just forward this entire ezine to anyone and everyone you think could benefit from this self-review.)

Before I share the questions, I want to share with you a simple little tactic that has transformed so many relationships in my life this past year. What upsets anyone is a lack of respect. If you are upset or someone you know is upset, take a deep breath and put your hand on your heart. Know that you or they are hurting because they feel disrespected. Ask your heart what your heart wants. (It will tell you). Then act from your heart. And most of all, just listen and repeat back what you hear the other person say. Don’t retaliate, give advice or try to fix the situation. Listen, with love. If you find yourself going into thinking, simply remember your heart. You will be AMAZED at what happens. (And sometimes, you may still fight. Forgive yourself and try again.)

I know it sounds almost hokey but it works. And remember, there is NO excuse for abuse, from you or towards you so please, always choose the high road.

And now, to you and your amazing life!

2011 Reflection Questions 

• What was the smartest decision you made in 2011?
• What one word or phrase best sums up and describes your 2011 experience?
• What was the greatest lesson you learned in 2011?
• What was the most loving service you performed in 2011?
• What is your biggest piece of unfinished business in 2011?
• What are you most happy about completing in 2011?
• Who were the three people that had the greatest impact on your life in 2011?
• What was the biggest risk you took in 2011?
• What was the biggest surprise in 2011?
• What important relationship improved most in 2011?
• What compliment would you liked to have received in 2011?
• What compliment did you receive in 2011 that meant the most to you?
• What compliment would you liked to have given in 2011?
• What were some of the influential books you read in 2011?
• What else do you need to do or say to be complete with 2011?

Creating 2012 

• What would you like to be your biggest triumph in 2012?
• What advice would you like to give yourself in 2012?
• What is the major effort you are planning to improve your financial results in 2012?
• What would you be most happy about completing in 2012?
• What major indulgence are you willing to experience in 2012?
• What would you most like to change about yourself in 2012?
• What are you looking forward to learning in 2012?
• What do you think your biggest risk will be in 2012?
• What about your work are you most committed to changing and improving in 2012?
• What is one as yet undeveloped talent you are willing to explore in 2012?
• Who would you like to get to know better in 2012?
• What brings you the most joy and how are you going to do or have more of that in 2012?
• Who or what, other than yourself, are you most committed to loving and serving in 2012?
• What one word or phrase would you like to have as your theme in 2012?

Mentor’s Challenge: Answer the year-end reflection and year-beginning creation questions in a quiet, beautiful location. Treat yourself to a simple pleasure as a reward for completing this important task in your self-discovery journey.

If you want BIG Transformation and Support in 2012, please consider our S.L.A.M.M. program. REGISTER HERE for our educational webinar about the program.

by Baeth Davis, Your Prosperity Purpose Mentor

This past weekend, I attended a magical leadership retreat at Canyon Ranch, hosted by Stedman Graham, and featuring some of the top thought leaders, speakers, CEOs and executives in the U.S. It turns out that real leaders don’t want followers — they seek authentic leaders.

Today, we’ll explore 5 key ways you can be a leader who ATTRACTS other leaders

Do you: 

1) regularly create what my former VIP client, Renee Shatanoff, affectionately refers to as ‘time to think?’

2) surround yourself with people who are smarter, faster, healthier, more athletic, more successful and more talented so you don’t stagnate?

3) choose growth as your personal educational style?

4) feel, express and embody love?

5) practice “Genshai?”

Time To Think

In his November 2011 newsletter, Dan Kennedy wrote: “In any case, the best advice I have is to insist on some time everyday to think bigger, broader, creatively, beyond the swamp, and make some progress toward positive goals.”

Nowhere is this type of broader thinking more possible than at a place like Canyon Ranch, whose tagline is “The Power of Possibility.” If you don’t make time to think, you will either fall in the swamp, get stuck in the swamp or be drowned by the swamp. Not pretty.

Arriving on property at 10:50 am, I went to my room to make a client call and get some work done before my intentionally scheduled ‘time to think’ process began. At 3:30 pm, I headed out and received a phenomenal head, neck and shoulder massage followed by a Watsu treatment, which is essentially weightless shiatsu in a heated pool. Divine floating bliss. I wouldn’t recommend it if you have trouble surrendering yourself into the arms of a stranger (in this case, an Earth Angel named Darcy) while wearing a bathing suit. Personally, I was only aware of the sensation of my breath, my body floating and the water. At several points during the treatment, I could have sworn there were two people in the water stretching me and swirling me through the pool. A nearly full moon came out to greet us as the treatment ended with the moon beaming down on my heart.

These two body treatments allowed my restless body, tired from weeks of traveling, to rest and my mind to quiet. No deep thinking can begin with a cluttered mind. You must create space so what you desire can move in.

I then met up with my BFF, Ali Brown, a brilliant entrepreneur and mentor to other leaders. We got gussied up and ventured over to the opening night cocktail party of the retreat. It was there that Stedman Graham shared his concept of “Identity Leadership” and we all introduced ourselves.

After the introductions ended, we mixed and mingled. One of the event organizers asked me to speak the following night, telling me, “Baeth, your message about soul literacy being the key to finding your purpose and being of service kicked things off in such a beautiful way and gave everyone the permission to go deeper and be more authentic in their introductions. We’d be honored if you’d speak to us tomorrow night on purpose.” I said “yes” of course. I noted that my willingness to be vulnerable in my introduction modeled a level of leadership I hadn’t allowed myself to experience until that moment. No doubt, the physical self-care earlier in the day, the time to reflect and a room full of powerful, loving people made it more possible.

More time to think was granted by this retreat format:

• Thursday: check in early to enjoy the property and its amenities
• Thursday evening: meet and greet cocktail party
• Friday day and evening: full day of speakers and master mind sessions
• Friday: group lunch and dinner
• Saturday: group breakfast
• Saturday: spa day
• Saturday: group lunch and dinner
• Saturday evening: event wrap up
• Sunday morning: group breakfast

Notice that the learning sessions are bundled so there is ample time for rest, relaxation and inner contemplation. How many times a day, week, month or year do you make ‘time to think?’

Surround Your Self with People Who Up Your Game

The great self-development leader, Jim Rohn, said that our incomes are typically the average of the five people we spend the most time with. If you take that idea further, your development quotient is likely the average of the five people who dominate your outer relationships.

Do the people in your life:

• Challenge you to be a stand for your Life Purpose?
• Encourage you to achieve your dreams and goals?
• Engage in healthy behaviors when it comes to socializing, eating and exercising?
• Pursue their own dreams and goals with passion and commitment?

During Stedman’s presentation, he pointed out that it is important to not get caught up in someone else’s vision or you will lose yourself. The whole point of ‘identity leadership’ is to find your own unique identity and become the leader of your own life. As the leader of your life, are you choosing to surround yourself with people who pull you forward, who reach down to lift you up?

Growth As a Way of Life

Stedman chose “growth” as the primary theme for our time together. If you are not growing you are stagnating. In his book, You Can Make It Happen: A 9-Step Success System, he observes that we are all given the same 24 hours each day. For the person who has found their identity and is living their Life Purpose, they can be highly selective in terms of what projects, programs, mentors, friends, social activities, books, and so on they chose to engage in. When you know clearly who you are and choose to lead your own life, you are on the way to real freedom. Growth on a daily basis is something you choose and see as a privilege.

Do You Feel, Express and Embody Love?

Stedman went on to say that LOVE is the core of a great leader. Why? A great leader pursues what they love in every area of their life and becomes a living, breathing embodiment of that love. And if you ever meet Stedman, you’ll see that he IS love. He is one of the kindest, gentlest, most truly humble men I’ve ever met. He did not come by this easily, but with discipline, commitment and focused work.

For example, let’s say that family is a priority for you. How do you express this love for your family? You could:

• take family outings and trips
• create a family legacy plan
• make time daily and weekly to sit and talk with your family members
• encourage learning by taking your children to a museum, the opera or the theater every week
• help your kids find their true passions and support those passions with appropriate mentors, tools, books, etc.

In our 2012 S.L.A.M.M. program, we will cover 12 areas of your life, three every quarter, and help you determine how you are maximizing each life area and living that part of your life with love. This type of planning and focus can make the difference between living your daily 24 hours the same way over and over again, or doing things each day that support and nourish what you truly love.

Genshai

One of our speakers, Kevin Hall, author of Aspire: Discovering Your Purpose Through the Power of Words, brought forth the word “genshai.” Genshai is an ancient Hindi word that means you should NEVER treat yourself or another person in a manner that makes one feel small.

Are you enough today? If you aren’t treating yourself as small, are you treating yourself as enough? As worthy? And imagine loving others as much as you love every area of your life? How would that change your interactions?

Genshai is the way of the humble leader.

Your Leadership

Have you decided to be the leader of every area of your life? Your health? Your emotional mastery? Your intellectual mastery? Your character? Your spirituality? Your romantic partnership? Your family? Your social life? Your finances? Your career? Your quality of life? Your life vision?

Will 2012 be the year you stop making resolutions and instead, make time to think, hang with the best, choose growth, express love and practice genshai?

If you want support, please consider our S.L.A.M.M. program. You can obtain a registration form from Cindy@YourPurpose.com and REGISTER HERE for our educational webinar about the program. 

Mentor’s Challenge:
Review the 5 key points raised in this article and write out your responses to each point. I invite you to be the leader of your life.

By Baeth Davis, Your Prosperity Purpose Mentor

“What’s left undone is your kingdom come … bring it on.” – Seal

Okay, Bette Boo [my ridiculous college nickname - a combo of "Bette Davis" and "Betty Boop"] is ready to rumble and rant about the meaningless ramblings and incoherent blather that often masquerades as communication. (My respected friend and colleague,Suzanne Evans, is having a powerful influence on me – heck she’s been looking down on my articles now for three weeks running – see above. I am taking a lesson from her in just laying it flat out straight. Take it or leave it.)

Sucky Communication Strategy #1: Do You Ever Just Shut Up?

You don’t freaking listen! In 90% of all conversations I encounter, one person is just babbling about the same thing they babbled about last time you spoke with them and there is no discernable GROWTH or LEARNING in their words.

On top of it, think about how rarely someone starts off the conversation with, “You know, I am so sick of my same old stories. Why don’t you tell me about your day?” Like hardly ever, right?

And if you do happen upon this rare experience, don’t waste your polite listener’s time with your own rehashing. Be original. Say what you mean, show how you feel, shed a tear, laugh hard, give all of yourself. You’ve got nothing to lose but your tightly guarded and transparent “image.” Give it up. No one cares. Not even me. Then after you’ve concisely and honestly expressed yourself, say something like, “Well, enough about me, tell me what you discovered today. I’m curious.”

Communication Upgrade

For one week, commit to speaking second (or third!) in EVERY conversation.Seek first to understand before being understood. Lose your fascination with the sound of your own babbling brook of a voice. And if you are the person who always goes second or gets passed over in group exercises, you have the opposite assignment. Speak up first and reveal something personal about yourself.

Sucky Communication Strategy #2: You Respond Inappropriately Or, Worse, Not At All To Her Good News

Your best friend is sharing about her big business breakthrough. She finally launched that new web site – and it’s actually functional. On top of it, her boyfriend asked her for her hand in marriage and she said “yes.” Life is g-o-o-d!

Your response. “Uh huh, congrats.” Or nothing. No response at all. Just a look. What? Are you kidding me? Did you even HEAR what she said? Or maybe you just change the subject with something like, “Did you hear that Bob is back in the hospital to have another cataract removed?” You need a cataract removed – from your ears. Oh, don’t get all sensitive now. We are well into this rant. Sure, I’m super sensitive, too, but even I can admit I’m guilty of every one of these communication blunders on more than one occasion.

Why? The success of others can be hard to take in sometimes. Not always – remember, our communication is sucky just sometimes. But if their success directly hits up against your failure, loss or recent disappointment, it can be a struggle to be fully present – and tender, to yourself and others.

Communication Upgrade

Always celebrate the success of others, knowing that if they are having success, your graciousness about it expands the capacity for you to receive the good graces of others. Celebrating others also makes your own success easier to accept, rather than sabotage. It’s hard to receive what we have trouble giving.

Let’s take it even further. I’ve dated several men in my life who felt: a) if they told me I was pretty or sexy, it would go to my head and make me conceited; b) apologizing was a sign of weakness – if you admit you are wrong about ONE thing, oh crap, you might be wrong about everything and then what?; c) compliments were flattery and that I must want something in return, followed either by squirming, blushing or anger.

These are not uncommon responses, nor are men the only ones who respond to the success of others inappropriately. I know women who: a) criticize other women – behind their backs obviously – for being “too pretty,” “too smart,” “too anything;” b) tear other women down who are successful implementers because they can’t get off their ass and implement anything – signing their name with a thumbprint becomes a debate about which thumbprint ink in which color to buy on which day of the week; c) are polite in groups but snakes when they corner you one-on-one and rip your self-esteem to shreds, either by implicating others are talking about you OR flat out telling you that you’re an idiot. Mmmmm, can you just feel the warm and fuzzies? Cut it out. Either shut up and listen or celebrate another.

Sucky Communication Strategy #3: Just Say It Already

Okay, so you are getting better at listening, asking thoughtful questions and acknowledging the success of others. But there is more. Half the time, I swear to Goddess, I have no idea what the other person is talking about. Seriously. I’m thinking, “What in hell is this person trying to say? I have no clue.” They may be speaking English (my native tongue) but it could just as well be French or Russian. No clue. Absolutely stumped. They are rambling, they are contradicting, they are no friend to logic. No clue.

And then I say, “Hey, what are you really trying to say? Lay it on me, I can take it.” And then the other person says something like:

• “Okay, but don’t get mad.”
• “No, never mind. It’s not that important.”
• “Let’s wait a little longer. We can talk about it Friday.”
• “What? Are you stupid? Obviously, you’re not listening to me.”

Are you LOL now? I hope so. Because I’m cracking myself up over here typing this out. It’s fun to be bratty while discussing sucky communication snafus.

After the dolt response to my very – VERY – clear question, I say, “No, really, I mean it. I have no clue what the hell you are trying to say. Just say it, please, or I’m going to get a taco.” And that always does it – because the other person really wants a taco, too.

Then it just comes spilling out… “What I’m trying to say is I’m really scared I boned the presentation today and my biggest client is going to fire me.” Well, now, was that really so hard? They continue, “Oh, it feels so good to just admit my fears. Whew. Thanks for listening. Now, where’s that taco stand?”

Communication Upgrade

In most instances, if you are incoherent, you are: a) drunk; b) high; c) sick; or d) afraid of negative consequences for speaking your truth. As a crazy neighbor – I’m talking capital “C” crazy neighbor – once told me - “You can’t say the wrong thing to the right person.”I laugh now because I had to tell this neighbor to stop dropping by unannounced early on Sunday mornings and they told me I was a “selfish” person. Never know where the gems will come from!

Remember, communication is both speaking and listening – and SO SO much more. Give it a go!

Where This Data Shows Up In Your Hands

Your little finger and the area beneath it on your palms is the “mercury” zone. Mercury, the “Mercurial” God, was quick as lightning, changing, alchemical. He ruled over communication, commerce, and trickery.

The tip of your little finger represents abstract communication: brainstorming, channeling, spiritual insight. The middle zone represents day-to-day communication: negotiating, selling, writing thank-you notes, etc. The lower zone represents physical communication: body language, hand holding, non-sexual and sexual touch.

As you move into the palm in the Mercury zone, you find the intimacy zone at the heart line, the “eureka” zone of ideas at the head line and the shamanic zone by the wrist. The shamanic zone, also known as the “moon,” represents the communication of imagination, illusion, dreams, intuition, insight, instinct and primitive reproductive drives.

Communication moves from the most light, wispy, intangible to the guts and the bowels, tactile, physical, merging. How deep will you go?

Mentor’s Challenge: You know there is something you want/need/must say to someone.Will you say it? I dare you to say it TODAY. Do it now. Bring it on!